Fishchan and Nehszriah Meet the Maraurders
by Nehszriah
Summary: [COMPLEATE] What do you think would happen if two American teenagers invade the lives of the young Maraurders? Fishchan and I decide to find out the hard way. r for highly agressive flirting, situations and language. Please review!
1. Part One: Invasion of the Americans

Disclaimer:  
  
Nez: I don't own the rights to Harry Potter or any branches of  
it. J.K. Rowling does.  
  
Ron: Wow. Didn't even have to threaten or convince her.  
  
Hermione: She's learning.  
  
Nez: You two won't be in this ficcy.  
  
Ron & Hermione: WHAT?!?!?!?!  
  
Nez: It's a Maraurder fic. You guys weren't born yet.  
  
Ron: -ears go scarlet- Okay then...  
  
Hermione: Okay! –creepily happy smile-  
  
Nez: -gulp- Don't let them kill me...  
  
Zanbato: -superhero stance- Don't worry sis. They won't touch  
you while I'm here. –mutters- Not until I sell all the tickets  
to the show.  
  
Hermione: Who's that?  
  
Nez: My little brother. He's going to me my pervy little muse.  
  
Ron: That sounds nasty.  
  
Nez: It means he's a pervert and I shall bounce ideas off him  
and see if they work.  
  
Zanbato: ...or bounce.  
  
Nez: Thank you. –twitch-  
  
Fish-chan and Nehszriah Meet the Maraurders  
  
Part One: Invasion of the Americans  
  
It was a quiet winter evening in the Gryffindor common room and the Maraurders were up to nothing really. Sirius and James were in the middle of a brainstorm involving their next prank, Peter was playing with some amusing trinket he found at Zonko's last Hogsmeade trip and Remus was, of course, studying. It was Christmas holiday for the fifth years and thinking up of schemes was always easier with an empty common room. (Nobody was around to interfere!)  
  
At around 8:30, Remus and his wolfish hearing picked up a sound from outside. It was coming towards the window by Sirius and James with increasing speed, whatever it was.  
  
"Guys, move away from there!" he yelled.  
  
Sure enough, right after they moved, two cloaked figures on a broom came crashing into the room, sending glass and small pieces of a broomstick everywhere.  
  
"Repairo," Remus said lazily, fixing the window.  
  
"Whoa! That was AWESOME!!!" the smaller figure squeaked. She took off her cloak, revealing a petite girl with short copper hair. She was dressed in blue jeans and a grey, hooded, zip-up sweatshirt that said 'Southlake Cavaliers' on it and had a picture of a pirate next to the lettering.  
  
"Damn, that did a number on my head," the other figure growled. The voice was fairly deep, as if she was the one driving the broom the whole time, therefore getting a sore throat. When she took her cloak off, it showed a girl dressed in black bondage pants (you know, the kind with the green trim?), a black hooded sweatshirt with some cartoon characters on it (Meatwad, Frylock and Master Shake from ATHF (don't ask if you don't know)), which she took off because it was so hot in the room, only for a black short sleeved t-shirt with the words 'All I Know Came From Video Games' on it to appear, over a long sleeved black t-shirt. She had shoulder- length brown hair in pig-tails and looked of average build and was definitely the taller of the two.  
  
"Who in all the bloody hell are you?!" Sirius yelled at the strange girls. They just stood there, staring at the guys with the wide eyes of children that are meeting a famous idol of theirs for the first time.  
  
"I call dibs on the geek and the pale one," the taller girl said, staring at Sirius and Remus, who was looking quite scared.  
  
"No fair," her friend said as she elbowed her in the side. The other one did nothing, as if she didn't even feel anything. She then came out of her trance, shook her head and stepped forward.  
  
"I'm sorry. That was horribly rude of me. My name is Nehszriah and this is my friend Fish-chan," the tall girl said. "We are from America."  
  
"America? Why the hell did you two come all the way from America, just to smash into our common room window?" James asked. Peter had decided to hide behind him and squeak like the little rat he was.  
  
"Because, you guys are the Maraurders! Why else?" Fish-chan piped up. She was looking James over with distinct approval growing with every glance. When she saw Peter, her eye twitched and muttered something that resembled the word "Traitor."  
  
"May I mind asking how it was you found us here, let alone heard of us?" Remus asked intelligently, as he always does.  
  
Nehszriah walked slowly up to the young werewolf, put her arm around his shoulder, smiled slyly at him and said in the sexiest voice she could manage: "You all are so famous for your schoolyard tricks, we just had to come find you guys. It was quite easy actually..."  
  
Remus tried to say something in reply, but could only stare at the girl and nervously stutter what ended up becoming illogical babbling.  
  
"I think what old Moony here trying to say is: 'Get off me you psychopathic freak of nature. That's not why you're here at all, you just want some because you tried every little boy in Hogsmeade and didn't fully succeed.' Of course, he would sugar-coat it so it didn't sound like that..." James snapped. He was very protective of his friends and didn't like to see Remus embarrassed like this. Nehszriah's eye just twitched in fury and her free hand clenched into a fist and shook.  
  
"Shut up or I shall kill you before Lily even gets the chance to put up with you," she growled. She seemed to like growling.  
  
"What? Lily Evans?" Sirius asked. This statement had him highly confuzzled.  
  
"Yes, Evans. And after I kill Potter, I'd hook her up with your good pal Snape, how's that?"  
  
"You wouldn't dare..." James snarled. As he took out his wand, Nehszriah took out of her pocket a small flask with some pink liquid in it. She shook it lightly and smiled.  
  
"That's Japanese Ai Potion!" Remus gasped. He backed away quickly and hid behind Sirius. "One drop of that and she's gone to him forever!"  
  
"Thank you, our Encyclopedia Wolf," James hissed, still mad at the mere thought of losing his Lily to his mortal enemy- Severus Snape.  
  
Nehszriah put the flask back in her pocket, chuckling at James's vengeful fit.  
  
"Like I'd do that. Just take back what you said about me and we'll call it even, okay?" Nehszriah said. James apologized and explained why he said that about her, so she forgave him. Protecting a friend from a complete stranger like that takes guts. 


	2. Part Two: Cards

Zanbato: My big sister, Nez, would like to formally apologize to Fish-chan, for not giving her a bigger part in this chapter and to Fufulupin for all the awkwardness between her alter-ego and herself. (Which she completely blocked out to make the story flow better.) Unfortunately, she is not here to apologize herself, being as she is held captive by Akina, Tsukinooni, Fufulupin and various other people who wanted in on this project. –closet behind him screams- -eyes shift- BLAME TSUKI!  
  
-Nez bursts out of closet and mercilessly beats Zan-  
  
Nez: YOU LITTLE RAT!!! –Zan runs away- Damn pervert brother...  
  
Part Two: Cards  
  
They all decided to do something together, the six of them.  
  
"Let's play cards!" Fish-chan suggested.  
  
"Okay, as long as I call game," James smiled. Nehszriah and Fish-chan agreed, as long as it wasn't Egyptian Rat-Screw, which only Fish-chan knew how to play anyways. Peter decided to go to bed instead of joining the 'festivities' in the common room (considering he couldn't play cards to save his life). The five remaining teens pulled chairs up to a round table and sat around it while James dealt out five cards to each player.  
  
"Guess what we're playing," he said smoothly. "Don't pick up the cards yet, guess, all of you."  
  
"Poker?" Fish-chan asked.  
  
"Crazy Eights?" Remus questioned.  
  
"Euchre?" Sirius asked. (This got him hit up the back side of his head.)  
  
"Nehszriah?" James asked. "What's your guess?"  
  
She sat there, thinking for a second. She thought and thought, until it came to her.  
  
"You pervert...... strip poker."  
  
James's smile screamed: "Aaaaand we have a winner!"  
  
There came a round of cursing from the table as James did this. Everyone picked up their cards and they went slowly, starting with stuff like watches and Nehszriah's hair ties and then moved upward.  
  
-Forty-five minutes later-  
  
"Prongs, you are never calling the game again," Sirius muttered. Fish-chan backed out of the game immediately and therefore, got to keep all her clothes. Nehszriah was near totally dressed (minus the hair ties and a few of her endless layers of black t-shirts) while the Maraurders were each all one way form losing everything.  
  
"Same rules boys," Nehszriah said with a big grin as she dealt the cards.  
  
"I swear, you're cheating!" James said.  
  
"Hey, you are talking to the two-time winner of the 6th Grade Valentine's Day Poker Tournament here, not some run of the mill cheat," she said with a fake 'I'm shocked' sound in her voice.  
  
"Really?" Remus asked, face red from embarrassment. "How can it be two times in the same year?"  
  
"The boys wanted a re-match."  
  
"Don't blame them. Playing for clothes or money in your tender school years?" Sirius joked.  
  
"Are you kidding? We played for candy. I went to a private Muggle Catholic school for eight years. That one was my last."  
  
"I can tell why," Fish-chan snickered.  
  
Nehszriah shot her a look of loathing. Then, James and Sirius folded.  
  
"Remus," she said. "I call you."  
  
The poor werewolf put his hand down on the table, embarrassed at his obvious lack of poker skills.  
  
"That's full house you got there," Nehszriah said as she put her cards down. Remus didn't even see the combo and grinned triumphantly as Nehszriah took off her last shirt before the long sleeved one. She gave him the same smooth smile as she did earlier and winked at him.  
  
"Moony's got a girlfriend, Moony's got a girlfriend!" Sirius and James started to chant. Remus went even redder. He shuffled and dealt the cards quickly.  
  
"I'm going to bed," Fish-chan yawned.  
  
"Where?" James asked. "You don't go to school here."  
  
"Some random bed in the girls' dorm..." she said as she disappeared from view.  
  
"I call all of you," Remus quickly said. Nobody else except Nehszriah was able to trade in their cards at all.  
  
"Ah, crap! I've got nothing!" James wailed as he put down his pathetic hand. Sirius just thrust his cards down madly, for he obviously got nothing.  
  
"Hang on guys..." Remus said right before they got up. "Nehszriah still hasn't shown us her hand. If I win, the game is over and you don't have to do anything."  
  
Sirius and James were overjoyed at this, considering their friend's confident face.  
  
"Come on, Nehszriah, call."  
  
"Lay your hand down, Remus."  
  
"Two kings. Not bad, huh?"  
  
Nehszriah started to laugh.  
  
"Royal Flush."  
  
She laid down the appropriate queen, 10 and jack, along with...  
  
"Two jokers?!?!" Sirius and James yelled. "That hand would have been nothing if it weren't for those jokers!"  
  
"You two don't like how I play, than so be it. Keep your shorts on. The one I really wanted to get is right across the table, but I doubt I'll be able to get him tonight's game. Later."  
  
Nehszriah gathered her clothes, walked up towards the girls' dorm and went to sleep right on the bed next to Fish-chan's. The boys, however, stayed in their seats, in a state of shock and embarrassment, especially when Sir Nearly-Headless Nick wanted to know what they were doing in the middle of the common room, in just boxer shorts with the rest of their clothes sprawled out around the table.  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Mary33: Thanks! Zanbato and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  
  
Fufulupin: I shall post as soon as I type, you know me! I also added you to the plotline. Well, not you, your name at least... 


	3. Part Three: Quidditch Lessons

Nez: Apologizing in advance for anything awkward, not logical (in the HP world), or just plain freaky.  
Zan: Isn't one of your friends a female version of Lupin?  
Nez: -hangs head- Yes.  
Zan: Why do you put you and him together in this fic then?  
Nez: I'm ignoring Fufu's alter-ego predicament, that's all.  
Zan: Suuuurrrrre...  
Nez: -bops over head- -twitch-  
  
Part Three: Quidditch Lessons  
  
The next day, our five heroes (five, not six, Wormtail is not there, he's sleeping... or 'playing' with is Zonko's toy... or whatever...) were outside on the Quidditch field, James in front of the others, who were lined up in a row facing him. "This is called a 'quaffle'," he said slowly, holding up the bright red ball. The others, all knowing the rules of the sport like a Canadian would know hockey or how the Japanese are nuts about baseball, looked at him with pure resentment. The only thing wrong with the picture was the land-locked Fish-chan. "I won't do it! I won't do it! I'll slide off the end at 50 feet!" she screamed as the others forced her onto a broomstick. She never learned how to fly one, considering that wasn't mandatory to pass American Wizarding School. "What if I was Nehszriah and this broom was the school's lake?" "Hey, I thought we straightened the whole 'I can't swim' thing out!" Nehszriah said, straining to hold her friend onto the broom handle. "Now take off!" Fish-chan's broom went high up in the air, sending her into a jettison-like freefall from, you guessed it, 50 feet up. James muttered some spell that got her back on the ground in front of them, safe and sound. "Accio Meteor 300!" Sirius yelled. The broom came back, safe and sound as well. "Noob," Nehszriah growled. She grabbed the broom, kicked off and flew around on it as if it was how she got around to and from, day-to-day, everyday. "Wow. She's nearly as good as you Prongs," Remus said in awe. James cursed the both of them, and let the Bludgers go from their cage. "Padfoot, catch!" Sirius caught the bat and they were soon using Nehszriah as target practice. Neither of them were Beaters, of course, but they sure were thinking the position was fun. "You'll never get her!" Fish-chan yelled into the sky. Remus was standing next to her, still amazed at how graceful Nehszriah was on a broom. This was dangerous though, like dodge ball in the air and with metal balls instead of rubber. Nehszriah was able to twist and turn elegantly in the air until... -CRACK- A Bludger rammed into her temple and the other got her in the gut. She fell into the ground, bleeding and amazingly, conscious. "NO! NEHSZRIAH!" Remus and Fish-chan yelled as they ran up to their friend. Nehszriah sat up, muttering curse words. She took out her wand and healed the gash on her head and the broken rib in her side. "Eat slugs, boys!" she growled. Sirius and James then started to puke up huge slugs, one after another, after another. "Heh, I never get tired of that one," she cackled as Remus conjured a counter curse for his friends. "Why did you do that?" Remus yelled. Everyone there knew the full moon wasn't for another few weeks, but it seemed as if it had already come. Yes, Lupin was that freighting. "They were being asses and they knew it." "Awww... look Sirius, their first fight," James said. He, Sirius and Fish- chan started roaring with laughter. Remus and Nehszriah on the other hand, turned towards the others, large tic marks forming on their foreheads. "Okay, my sympathies are gone for them. What curse should we use on them?" Remus snarled. "I was thinking you could bite them," Nehszriah replied, her left eyelid going nuts. "No, I want them to suffer now, not later." Nehszriah didn't answer him; for she had her eyes shut tight, was clutching her wand and muttering to herself what sounded like a cross between a song and a spell. Suddenly, Fish-chan, Sirius and James lifted off the ground. Their bodies glowed and sparked until they landed on the ground with a big 'thud.' "Ow. What the hell was that?" Sirius moaned. "The Temporary Vampirism Curse. The effects should wear off in a few hours or so," Nehszriah said with a grin. The cursed teens grew fangs and then started to smoke. "Get out of direct sunlight," Remus warned. He liked this payback method better than what he was thinking of, which was sticking them in half-human- half-animal forms for a few days. "Come on Remus, let's go," Nehszriah smiled. "I think we can go catch some lunch in the Great Hall and play another game of poker before the curse wears off. What do you say?" The werewolf looked over at his friends, writhing in the painful sunlight, and then at Nehszriah, who had mounted a broomstick and was smiling sweetly. "It's a date." He hopped onto a broom himself and they flew off towards the castle together, Remus getting a promise that they wouldn't play poker against each other again. 


	4. Part Four: Torturing the Traitor

Nez: This is a short chapter that is sure to please all the Wormtail/Peter haters.  
  
Zan: Including you?  
  
Nez: Yes, because I wrote it.  
  
Zan: -to audience- Check out "Killing Wormtail", by fufulupin. It is funny.  
  
Nez: Are you being paid to advertise?  
  
Zan: Nope. –big grin-  
  
Nez: -sighs- Sill, everyone, if you have an idea for this fic, please tell me in the reviews. I even put Zan in Part Six. That's how desperate I am to keep this thing going.  
  
Zan: But this is only Part Four...  
  
Nez: -bops over head- Shut up.  
  
Part Four: Torturing the Traitor  
  
"HHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP!" screamed Peter. "Help me James!" He ran behind Prongs, who was practicing his Charms homework (something he really needed to work on,) in the Gryffindor common room. Fish-chan was chasing Peter, wand sparking with every swish of her thin arm.  
  
"What is it now Wormtail?" James whined. "I swear, nearly everybody can make you squeal like a girl if they wanted to."  
  
"SHE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!!" Peter squeaked loudly.  
  
"Yeah, and it didn't work! Now hold still or this could become messy."  
  
"Fish-chan, what are you doing that is so 'cruel'?"  
  
"NO! IT'S TOO HORRIBLE TO EVEN HEAR!"  
  
Just then, Remus and Nehszriah came down the dormitory steps (Zan: What were you doing there?!?!), talking about some Muggle television shows called "Inu-Yasha", "Cowboy Bebop", "Trigun" and "Witch Hunter Robin". (Zan: -sweatdrop-)  
  
"REMUS! HELP ME!" Wormtail yelled. He scuttled behind the werewolf and his companion, shaking in fear.  
  
"Get way from me," Nehszriah growled. Peter gulped and ducked behind Sirius, who just came in from the portrait hole.  
  
"Fish-chan tried to kill me! Don't let her hurt me!"  
  
Sirius sighed. "Why should I protect you? Grow some balls and stand up for yourself, man. I mean, come on."  
  
Nehszriah let out a small giggle, which caused Remus to giggle as well.  
  
"What's with you two lovebirds?" James snapped, brow raised.  
  
"Back off," Nehszriah said coldly. "So, Fish-chan, what did you try to do with the little rat that made him freak out so much?"  
  
Fish-chan walked over to Nehszriah and Remus and whispered something to them. All three of them broke out in laughter.  
  
"That? Poor Pete! He's had nightmares about that since first year!" Remus laughed. He and Nehszriah had to lean on each other in order to stand upright.  
  
"You twisted little..." Nehszriah started, but didn't finish. She was laughing way too hard to talk. James and Sirius were just confuzzled out of their poor little minds and said nothing.  
  
"STOP IT! STOP IT ALL OF YOU!" Peter wailed.  
  
"Fine, I'll stop it," Fish-chan giggled. She flicked her wand and Peter became a rat, a rat surrounded by a mousetrap field.  
  
"Heh, can't become human again, now can we? Don't want to set off any of those traps?" Fish-chan snickered.  
  
"Fish-chan, I'm impressed. You have clearly risen to the next level," Nehszriah said happily. She hugged the happy witch and they started to do this little happy-dance that they called the 'Twist'.  
  
"Okay, you two may have some definitive issues here..." a confuzzled James said. "...wouldn't you agree with me Sirius? Sirius?!"  
  
Sirius had joined in on the odd dance, grinning happily. Remus looked scared at this, as if it was something that caused some horrible childhood trauma. (As if the whole werewolf thing wasn't enough.)  
  
"Moony, just what in all of England are they doing?" James asked with a worried face. "C'mon, you're the Muggle born here and that is definitely not something any wizard in their sane mind would do while dancing."  
  
Remus was just too embarrassed to admit that this was his mother's favorite dance when she was their age, so kept his mouth shut and engraved a grimace on his face of pure horror. Suddenly, amid all the randomness of the moment, Peter transformed into a human and scuttled off as fast as his short, fat legs could carry him. His escape plan was botched though, by the many little mousetraps surrounding him. He squealed and squeaked until he was blue in the face, then passed out on the floor.  
  
"Wow. Should we do something about this?" Sirius said as he stopped dancing. Even Nehszriah and Fish-chan stopped their small party to stare in shock at Peter's present condition.  
  
"Ewww..." Fish-chan moaned. (Better not tell you what that was about.)  
  
"I have a better use for this thing," Nehszriah said as she got rid of the mousetraps. "Mobilicorpus."  
  
Peter's body stood up, feet slightly hovering over the ground and head lolling to the side. Nehszriah got a wicked-looking grin creep across her face and she cackled menacingly.  
  
-Three hours later-  
  
Peter woke up to find he was unable to move his arms or legs. His vision had been blurred from his sleep and couldn't quite recognize where he was (to make matters worse, it was really dark too). Whatever it was he was tied to was quite itchy and the room smelled of mold and water.  
  
Then, he realized where he was: tied to a tree, in the Forbidden Forest, in the nighttime.  
  
"Ah crap..." 


	5. Part Five: Muffins vs Maraurders

Nez: Hurry up and give me ideas for plotlines peoples!  
  
Zan: Don't be so mean to your friends...  
  
Nez: -bops Zan over head- -grump-  
  
Part Five: Muffins vs. Maraurders  
  
Christmas Day had come at the empty castle and things couldn't have been better for the Maraurders and company. Dumbledore and McGonagall gave Nehszriah and Fish-chan permission to transfer to Hogwarts (considering the obvious lack of Gryffindor fifth year girls was truly embarrassing) and the girls were getting ready for full initiation into the group. The six teens were gathered around the Christmas tree, unwrapping parcels in huge delight. Fish-chan and Nehszriah got the most of all (due to their friends still in America).  
  
"Wow! Are those all boxes of pocky?" Remus squealed as Nehszriah opened a big box full of Japanese otaku items.  
  
"Nope, there is still ramen, manga and...OH MY GOD!!!!!" She pulled out a small, back, rectangular box with a note attached. Fish-chan took the note and read it.  
  
Nehszriah,  
  
Please take care of this. We need it back by vacation's  
end, or the vampire won't be too happy with us. (It has our  
Potions homework on it!) Have fun, write loads and keep  
that new 'boyfriend' of yours inline!  
  
Tsuki-no-oni, Fufulupin, Akina Kumi-Tami and the rest of  
the Muffins  
  
"Who are these people?" Sirius questioned as he looked over Fish-chan's shoulder.  
  
"Oh, our friends that are still in America," Nehszriah calmly said as she put the laptop notebook down and went through the box of goodies. "Here Fish-chan, this is for you."  
  
She tossed her a book, which had black and white drawings that didn't move on the inside and a very colorful cover. (Digimon manga, whose cover image was still as well.)  
  
"Your old Potions teacher's a vampire?" Sirius said, still studying the note.  
  
"At least that's what everyone believes," Nehszriah answered as she opened up Remus's gift. ("Muggle books! How'd you know I like Poe, Shakespeare, Tolkien and Paolini?" –hug- -Remus blushes- ----)  
  
"...but is he?" James said as he too, looked the note over.  
  
"No, but Nehszriah and her friends started that rumor first year and now everybody from our grade down thinks it. He's a good sport though, that Lavender," Fish-chan said, retrieving the card.  
  
"Now what do we have here?" Nehszriah said as she looked at one of the brightly colored packages still under the tree. "To: Sirius... and no other name... now who could this mystery person be?" She had a sly smile on her face and was at the edge of giggles.  
  
Sirius took the package and opened it slowly, hoping it wasn't a trap. (James was infamous for that sort of thing.) His eyes got wide and a scared look came across Sirius's face.  
  
"Wha...? What is this?" He pulled a ball of yarn from the box, which actually seemed to resemble clothing, not too sure what it was, he stared at it with horror.  
  
"What is it?" Peter asked, finally escaping the pile of wrapping paper he had been stuck in this whole time. (Hence his absence from speaking in this part (or it could be the fact that I hate his guts.))  
  
"It's a sweater," Fish-chan blushed.  
  
"How would you know?" Peter snapped, peeling tape off his pajama shirt.  
  
"I made it."  
  
Every eye in the room was fixed on the ferociously red-faced girl. Some shocked (Nehszriah,) some scared (Sirius) and some that were just plain confused. (Meaning the rest of the Maraurders.)  
  
"I like you Sirius," Fish-chan admitted. Sirius was floored by this, as well as the rest of the Maraurders. –anime style shocked fall-  
  
"This was unexpected."  
  
"You said it Nehszriah," Remus chimed in.  
  
"D-d-d-do you r-r-really mean that?" Sirius stuttered. He liked her alright, but not enough to want to date her. She was only a third year! (Or at least looked it.)  
  
"Yeah, I'm serious, Sirius."  
  
Sirius went bug-eyed.  
  
"Padfoot's got a girlfriend, Padfoot's got a girlfriend..." Remus hissed happily in his ear. Sirius punched him in the gut, which got him a look of death out of Nehszriah as she held the whimpering werewolf in her arms.  
  
Just then, the laptop next to them beeped, Nehszriah picked it up and tried juggled it with Remus still huddled in her lap.  
  
"NEHSZRIAH!!!!" a chorus of voices rang out when she opened it. There was a web-cam installed in the Muggle artifact, revealing three very spastic girls and one very cynical-looking one on screen.  
  
"Is that Remus? Wow, he looks like almost like our Fuf, doesn't he Akina?" the blonde with a bandanna and a pair of glasses on giggled.  
  
"Hey Tsuki. Where's Kate and Tara?"  
  
"Not well, I hate to say. Still, how are you doing? I'm guessing pretty well by the bishonen you got there."  
  
"Pretty cool, I guess," Nehszriah said. She then turned the laptop around to show the Maraurders and Fish-chan to her friends nearly half a world away.  
  
There was the girl with the bandanna and glasses (of course), a girl with brown hair and a kimono on (Akina), one with blonde hair in a ponytail (Chels) and the grumpy one with short, dark brown hair (that's the Fuf!) They were all in pajamas and the three happy ones looked like they were on caffeine highs.  
  
"Did you guys stay up all night? I mean, what time is it? Whoa. It's nearly 2 in the morning for you!"  
  
"Yeah, Adult Swim was on, or we would have gotten you earlier."  
  
"Well, I just opened the present a few minutes ago, so you wouldn't have reached me."  
  
"Yeah, you were too busy with your new boyfriend, huh?" Fuf said. She laughed slowly and then disappeared from sight.  
  
"Hasn't she had her coffee yet?" Fish-chan said into the computer screen, clutching a really scared Sirius. The American girls giggled.  
  
"The Fish reeled one in too?" Chels snickered.  
  
"No..." Sirius squeaked. Fish-chan just squeezed harder on her stalker target.  
  
"Those are the girls that call themselves 'Muffins'?" James asked as Nehszriah turned the screen back towards her. The grumpy Fuf had also come back with some coffee in hand.  
  
"Yep! They're probably some of the smartest girls you could ever meet, Muggle or witch," Nehszriah said over her friends' shouting at Remus. ("Are you really her boyfriend?", You Muggle-born or Pure-blood?", "Do you have any brothers?") Nehszriah just sighed at her friends and the gang went about their daily Christmas business, eventually having to drag Nehszriah away from the "idiotic Muggle contraption" as James put it.  
  
Review Reply! (well, sort of...)  
  
Fufulupin, Give me IDEAS to this thing! –sobs- Oh, and be sure to inform the Tsuki of her addition to this thing. 


	6. Part Six: Enter the Zanbato

Nez: This chapter introduces the character of... -dramatic drum roll- ZANBATO!  
  
Zan: -hops up and down like excited schoolgirl- Really?!?!?!  
  
Nez: Yes. You were there when I wrote it you baka.  
  
Zan: -revelation- Ohhh... yeah... that's right... cool.  
  
Nez: Just don't take anything in here too personally.  
  
Zan: -reads fic over- That is going to be very hard. –punches Nez-  
  
Part Six: Enter the Zanbato  
  
Later that Christmas Day, Sirius, Nehszriah, Fish-chan and Remus were hanging out in the common room. James and Peter had left; preferring dueling with Peeves the Poltergeist rather than be around the combinations of Remus with Nehszriah and Fish-chan with Sirius. (He, of course, had also wished to leave, but Fish-chan wouldn't allow it. ) They were all sitting about like bumps on a log, when the Muffin Laptop beeped again. (Yes, it has been dubbed "The Muffin Laptop". You don't like it, tough salami. Like it, kudos to you.)  
  
"This better not be your bloody friends again," Sirius grumbled as he tossed Nehszriah the computer. She opened it to a huge scream of "SIS!!!"  
  
"Hello Zan. How are you?" she growled with the most irritated look she could muster. This was her younger brother Zanbato, whom she found to be highly annoying at times. (Zan: I'm also the co-author! Nez: Shut up, muse. –bops over head-)  
  
"How ya doin' Nez?" he said happily. Remus looked over into the screen to find a gangly boy of about thirteen with shaggy, dirty-blonde, bed-head ridden hair and scratched glasses. He seemed rater oblivious to the fact that the girls from before were right behind him, timing every precious second he took up on their sacred computer.  
  
"Alright, I guess. Why are you talking to me? Can't I have some time to myself half a world away or is that too difficult of a concept for you to grasp yet?" Large tic marks started to form on her forehead and right fist. Remus backed away slowly (at the discretions of Sirius, Fish-chan and himself of course.)  
  
"Well all of your alone time lately has been spent with Remus, so I don't know what your talking about," Sirius grumbled. Nehszriah shot him the death glare and he recoiled in fear.  
  
"What was that?" Zanbato asked. "Is someone else there? I wanna see! Hello!?!?!?!"  
  
Fish-chan dragged Sirius over towards the camera and waved.  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIII ZAN!!!!!!!" she yelled. Sirius just kept his "Help me get away from this psycho freak" look on, which seemed to get through to Zanbato.  
  
"Fish-chan, please let go of him for a second," Zan requested. Sirius caught his breath, whispered "Invisoti", turned invisible and ran out the portrait hole to find James and Peter.  
  
"ZAN! What'd you do that for?" Fish-chan yelled as she ran out of the common room, Maraurder Map in hand, yelling for her Sirius to come back.  
  
"Heh... poor chap. She's been stalking him for quite some time now. Thought she'd never let go until bedtime," Remus sighed.  
  
"Well, he had the "Help me get away from this psycho freak" look on so I decided to help.  
  
"This stupid map's busted," a flustered Fish-chan grumbled as she stomped into the common room. "It says that some black dog that one of the Ravenclaw students has is my Sirius. Not fair."  
  
Remus and Nehszriah just looked at her and giggled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sirius is an Animagi. He can change into a black dog. The dog with that Ravenclaw boy is Sirius."  
  
Fish-chan raced out, clutching the map.  
  
"Neat. He can do that?" Zanbato asked as soon as Fish-chan left.  
  
"Yep. He's been able to do that since third year."  
  
"Cool." –mutters- "Heheheh... that's revenge for taking my seat..."  
  
"You're still holding a grudge about that stupid movie? Get over it. It was your own fault anyway," Nehszriah snapped angrily.  
  
"Sis," Zanbato asked sheepishly as the Muffins were getting ready to boot him off. "How long are you going to stay there? I miss writing stuff with you."  
  
"Probably longer that you obviously would like. –sighs- Can I go now?"  
  
Zanbato's head sunk and muttered a low "Yeah."  
  
-laptop slams shut-  
  
"Now that was rude," Remus commented. "I wanted to talk to him. He seemed like an interesting kid."  
  
"Oh, he's a kid alright, that Zan. More of a kid than you can imagine," Nehszriah sighed. She looked around the room and stood up and faced the young werewolf. "We're all alone. We're all alone in the common room." A smile crept across her face and then Remus's.  
  
-SLAM-  
  
James, Peter, Fish-chan and Peeves burst in through the common room door in this big, huge mess. James and Peter were still dueling and Sirius had taken to joining in on the duel every few seconds and then scuttling to a different spot in the room to avoid Fish-chan and the Japanese Ai Potion that she nicked off Nehszriah.  
  
Nehszriah and Remus could only stand there and angrily watch their friends ruin the moment with the horrible timing that they had been 'blessed' with.  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Zan: Why do we have to do this?  
  
Nez: To keep our faithful readers reading.  
  
Zan: Then what's with the leashes?  
  
Nez: -hides leashes- -whistles- What leashes?  
  
Zan: -sighs- Oh, for the love of ranch dressing...  
  
Nez: Now for the reviews!  
  
Fufulupin- Thank you for the confident statement of: "You're doing spiffily on your own." Much appreciated. I had just talked with Fish-chan over the phone while watering my driveway (long story) and have ideas for –thinks and counts on fingers- three more chapters... yeah... three. Give me some time and I shall be whining again for ideas, but as for now... just wait for the chapters.  
  
Zan: Is that it?  
  
Nez: Well, the Fuf is the only one who ever reviews... that is except once in the first chapter. It sort of bugs me.  
  
Zan: -squeaky baby voice- It's okay...  
  
Nez: -pummels Zan- -growls- -looks online at midnight- More reviews!  
  
ZhouCeng: Thank you for the nice review!   
  
Fish: DON'T GIVE AWAY SECRETS!!!!!!! GAAAAHHHHH!!!! I JUST STARTED PART SEVEN, SO DON'T SAY THAT!!!!!!  
  
Nez: Thank you all! ---- 


	7. Part Seven: Potions 101

Nez: -head is bowed revently-  
  
Zan: Why are we having a moment of scilence?  
  
Nez: Fish shall not be with us from Monday until Saturday or Sunday.  
  
Zan: So?  
  
Nez: SHE'S GOING CAMPING AND THEREFORE WONT BE ABLE TO CALL ME SO I CAN DISCUSS PLOTLINES WITH HER!!!!  
  
Zan: Sorry... don't be so touchy.  
  
Nez: Stop being a bad muse.  
  
Zan: Okay.  
  
Part Seven: Potions 101  
  
Winter Break had lazily gone by and the rest of the school returned to Hogwarts. The mysterious appearance of Fish-chan and Nehszriah caused some commotion between the fifth year students. They didn't know of any wizarding schools in the United States, let alone the two that they had come from. Luckily, Lily, Regina and Michaela, the other Gryffindor fifth year girls, accepted the newcomers right away, even though they were a little... strange.  
  
Double Potions class with Slytherin was the first Hogwarts lesson for Fish- chan and Nehszriah to experience. Old Professor Torstein decided to split up his new students with partners from Slytherin. Nehszriah got to be paired with a fairly meek girl who let her do all the work, even when she offered to let her do something and Fish-chan got to partner up with none other than... -dramatic music and lighting- a young Severus Snape.  
  
"Uhh... h-h-h-hello," he nervously stuttered as she walked over to his cauldron. She set her cauldron down and started to follow the instructions for Anti-Hiccup Tonic that she was supposed to make for the class. She was distracted though, for Severus kept on staring at her.  
  
"Will you please stop staring at me?" she asked loudly. Nehszriah looked over and stepped between them to stare down Snape.  
  
"What the all the seven circles of hell do you think you are doing?" she growled. Severus crouched away, whimpering like an abused puppy.  
  
"Nehszriah! Back to your place!" Torstein yelled from the other side of the dungeon. Very reluctant, she went back to her seat and stirred the bubbling green acid in her cauldron.  
  
"Aren't there nine circles of hell?" Severus asked, shaking.  
  
"You have clearly never been to American schools, Muggle or wizarding," Fish-chan coldly said as she added the wrong amount of water to her cauldron. She didn't know it, but Severus had put in three milligrams more to the right amount, sabotaging all of her hard work.  
  
The potion blew up in her face, covering her from head to toe in bright purple gunk. As she started to clean herself up, Professor Torstein came over, cane waving wildly in the air.  
  
"You stupid girl!" he yelled. "I told you all that you only needed eight to ten milliliters of water, not eleven!"  
  
Fish-chan's eyes started to water when the bell rang. "You and Severus are staying after until you get this thing right, got it?"  
  
She nodded her head sadly as the rest of the class and Torstein filed out. When the door closed, Severus had a look on his face of pure happiness.  
  
"Fish-chan, here, let me help you," he said cheerily. Fish-chan was so scared at this gesture of kindness (considering what James and Sirius told her about him), she ran towards the door, only to find it was locked.  
  
"ALOHOMORA!!!!" she yelled. The door stayed locked.  
  
"It's staying locked until I say so," Severus said coolly. Fish-chan looked at him with complete horror. She started to pound on the door and scream to be let out, but didn't get any answer...  
  
-two hours later-  
  
"Fish-chan's been gone a long time," Lily said nervously. Everyone was still at lunch and Care of Magical Creatures was closing in fast.  
  
"Ah, she can hold a bit longer," Sirius calmly said.  
  
"I agree with Padfoot. She's a tough witch. Whatever it is, she'll get through it," Nehszriah muttered through her third ham-cheese-and-barbecue sauce sandwich.  
  
"Are you sure?" James asked.  
  
At that moment, Professor Torstein came puffing in from the Dungeon Corridor, screaming at the top of his old-man lungs.  
  
"SOMEONE'S LOCKED THE POTIONS DUNGEON!!!!! I CAN'T GET IN!!!!!"  
  
"Oh, Merlin's beard Hedrick, did you forget what charm you used to lock the room with again?" the first year teacher, Professor Flitwick sighed. This was clearly not the first time this happened to Torstein.  
  
"No! I tried everything! Nothing will work!"  
  
Lily, Nehszriah, James, Remus and Sirius all looked at each other with frightened faces. They immediately bolted from their seats and ran past the teachers (who told them to stop by the way) and bust right in through the door. They found Fish-chan and Severus dueling harshly, Fish-chan with the slight upper hand.  
  
"Back off you PERVERT!!!!!" she screamed. A jinx finally hit Severus square in the chest, sending him flying backwards into all of the beakers, vials and test tubes of various potions that really shouldn't mix.  
  
"Sweet Queen Mother of England!" Flitwick yelled as he ran into the room, followed closely by Torstein, who flipped out even more and fell to the floor unconscious, clutching his chest.  
  
"Shit!" Severus yelled. He was covered in slime that tended to change color and shine in the torchlight of the dungeon. "Vanishoro." With a flick of his goo-covered hand, the gunk disappeared.  
  
"What the fuc..." Nehszriah said, cut off by Remus's hand. The greasy haired, hook nosed weakling that was Severus Snape had been transformed into a young, dark-haired version of Fabio in Hogwarts robes, much to the Maraurders' discontent.  
  
"How in all of the Ministry did that happen?" Professor McGonagall said with awe. Flitwick had come up the stairs with Torstein and she had rushed down to see to the rest of the accident herself. She was definitely younger than we all recollect her into being, her grey bun replaced by dirt-blonde, shoulder length hair and makeup took place of her wrinkles. She waved her wand, muttered some incantation and Severus went back to the way he was before the crash, except his hair was clean.  
  
"Professor!" Severus yelled.  
  
"Don't 'Professor' me young man. March right up to Dumbledore's office immediately!" Severus sulked up the stairs, followed by McGonagall. She didn't notice the Maraurders though, for they hid under James and Fish- chan's Invisibility Cloaks. The seven kids went down to Care of Magical Creatures as quick as they could, stopping along the way for Fish-chan to grab some food.  
  
Review Reply!  
  
ZhouCheng- That's not a bad idea.  
  
Fish- I'M GONNA MISS YOU!!!! 


	8. Part Eight: Entering the Unknown

Nez: -superhero stance-  
  
Zan: What's that for?  
  
Nez: -sings 'Freckles' from Rurouni Kenshin soundtrack-  
  
Zan: -sighs- You're so weird. –dances to 'Freckles' midi-  
  
Nez: -V for victory- I know! –wink-  
  
Part Eight: Visiting the Unknown  
  
School went by quicker than Christmas Break and before anyone could get their bearings straight, Easter Holiday was upon them.  
  
"Are you guys going to stay here?" James asked Nehszriah the day before the train. She was sitting next to Remus in the common room doing her Astronomy homework.  
  
"Nope, Fish-chan and I are going home this holiday," she replied, barely breaking concentration.  
  
"I'm going too," Remus said cheerily. Nehszriah smiled at him and turned to James and Sirius, who had just come over.  
  
"You two want to come?" she asked. "I think you'd like it."  
  
"Sure," Sirius chuckled. "Someone has to monitor you two during the break, and I think it'd be best if we come along."  
  
"Really?!?! Cool!" Fish-chan squealed. She seemed to pop out of nowhere to cling to Sirius happily, which made some seventh year girls giggle. Sirius just sighed and wished he could take it back.  
  
-the next day-  
  
"Wheeeeee! We're finally going back home!!" an excited Fish-chan yelled. She, James, Sirius, Lily, Nehszriah and Remus were locked in a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express. They were all dressed in Muggle clothing and ready to get home.  
  
"Where's Peter?" Lily asked.  
  
"With his fat girlfriend Haley," James growled.  
  
"I swear, she's a hooker," Sirius commented.  
  
"Well, that's probably why he's with her!" Nehszriah added. Everyone laughed.  
  
"King's Cross! Everybody off!" a voice yelled. The teens fetched their luggage and went through the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10.  
  
"So," Remus asked. "Where's our ride?"  
  
"Right here," Nehszriah said with a sly grin, pointing to a bathroom. It had a sign on it that said: "Pardon Our Dust- Closed".  
  
"What do you mean we are going to get home through a toilet?" Lily said, quite disgusted. Fish-chan pushed her into the door, where she vanished like it was the train barrier.  
  
"LILY!" James yelled. He ran after her, followed by the rest of the Maraurders.  
  
"The door was a portkey?" Remus asked, stunned that they were in an airport.  
  
"Yep! Now come on!" Fish-chan said as she and Nehszriah led the way to another portkey, which took them into someone's basement. It was very dark, for there was only one light on, and it kept on flickering.  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!" Sirius screamed. Everyone looked back to find Nehszriah's friend Tsuki, arms wrapped around the scared Maraurder.  
  
"He's soooo cute!" she squealed. Fish-chan had to pry Tsuki loose so Sirius could breathe. She looked at the other people in her basement. Lily's hand latched onto James's and Remus was already halfway up the stairs with Nehszriah. Everyone else followed to find a mass of people in the living room.  
  
"SIS!" squealed the voice from Part Six, Zanbato. He jumped his older sister and they were soon beating each other up mercilessly. Remus had been right in thinking him to be tall and skinny, for he was. The tall and gangly siblings looked nearly identical, except Zanbato's short hair, eyeglasses, Yu-Gi-Oh! t-shirt and jeans.  
  
The gang then also got their first clear look at the Muffins- or Muffin Mafia as they liked to be called. Tsuki was pretty average in height and was in an Inu-Yasha t-shirt, a patch-covered jean jacket and bondage pants much like Nehszriah's, except the trim was purple. Akina was slightly taller than Tsuki and was out of the kimono from before. Instead, she too donned an outfit of jeans and a t-shirt. Blonde-haired Chels had pigtails, a green long-sleeved shirt and tan corduroy pants. The Fuf, who seemed to be slightly more chipper than before, had on jeans (do you see a trend here?), a green t-shirt and over that, a blue flannel shirt. Her short brown hair slightly resembled James's in fashion, except a bit tamer.  
  
"No Tara or Kate again?" Fish-chan sadly asked. (Nez: Tara, Kate, I'm really sorry that I keep on writing you out, but I've met Tara once and don't really know her well enough to write about her and I've only heard stories about Kate. Please forgive me!)  
  
"Family vacation and grandmother's house," Chels answered.  
  
"What kind of house is this?" Lily asked as she prodded the microwave oven above the counter. It beeped on and scared her so much, she drew her wand and was about to hex it, when she realized how silly it would be to hex an inanimate object and put it away. Tsuki turned off the microwave oven with a laugh.  
  
"That's right," she said. "You guys didn't have buttons like this on a microwave back then."  
  
A confuzzled Remus looked at her.  
  
"What do you mean 'back then'?"  
  
"Didn't Nehszriah tell you? We're in the future, or your future anyways," Fuf smirked. "You guys are all adults in this time period. Your kids would be our age."  
  
"WHAT?!?!?!" the Maraurders yelled together. Lily sat down in the chair next to her, Sirius needed to prop himself up on the counter and Zanbato started giggling.  
  
Tsuki looked around the room, adjusted her bandanna, and decided to lift the ugly mood.  
  
"Let's PARTY!!!" she screeched. With that, the Muffins and Zanbato got out the munchies and Faygo, maneuvering around the frozen Maraurders from the past.  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Zan: First off, Nez made a labeling mistake in chapter 7. Milligrams and milliliters are sooooo not the same thing. You can't have milligrams of water either, I think...  
  
Nez: Danke schön, Einstein. –twitch-  
  
Zan: -confuzzled- Huh? Donkey shoe?  
  
Nez: Why do I let you co-write with me? –twitch- -bops Zan over head- Okay... as a group review: I might turn Snape back, the fight scene is quite possible and drivers training is not possible for me, for I did not turn in any work in Geometry, so therefore failed the class (got a 'B' on my final though!) I might even be so stubborn as to just wait 'till I'm 18 and take the road test then. 


	9. Part Nine: Muffin vs Maraurders Round Tw...

Nez: -holds up full shot glass in a drunken manner- Here's to the spiffiness of this fic!  
  
Zan: Here, here! –steadily holds up own glass and clinks it with Nez's- Don't you think you've had enough sis?  
  
Nez: -downs shot- NEVER!!! –falls backwards- Zzzzzzzzzz...  
  
Zan: Sorry 'bout that. She just doesn't know when to stop with the Faygo Moon Mist. It is a sad and horrible addiction, I know. She's even joined Soda Pop Drinkers Anonymous.  
  
Nez: -wakes up- I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM YOU SCURVY WENCH!!!! –falls asleep again-  
  
Zan: This is also what happens when one mixes a "Pirates of the Caribbean" DVD, the entire Adult Swim lineup, a 99 cent 2-lieter of said Faygo, oriental ramen, a few fanfics to type and all night to do it.  
  
Nez: -wakes up again- -looks around- -does best Jack Sparrow impression- Please, try not to say anything... stupid.  
  
Zan: -cold stare- Impossible in your eyes.  
  
Nez: -still in Jack Sparrow mode- ...BUT WHY IS THE POP GONE?!?!?!?! –falls asleep again-  
  
Zan: -twitch- Because you drank it all, baka. –to audience- Enjoy the fic people. Please review. It makes the psycho happy.  
  
Nez: -still sleeping- AND REALLY BAD EGGS!!!!  
  
Zan: -sighs- -stares at ceiling- Am I the only semi-sane one here?  
  
Part Nine: Muffins vs. Maraurders... Round Two  
  
The party in Tsuki's living room had been going on for a half an hour when Akina realized there was something wrong. The only one of the Maraurders having a good time was Remus, and that was only because Nehszriah was there. Even amid all of the fun mix of Pillows, Queen, Styx and Inu-Yasha soundtrack music and the unhealthy munchies, the blasts from the past weren't enjoying themselves. She walked over towards James, who just so happened to be alone at the time, sat down on the couch and put her arm around his shoulder and giggled.  
  
"Why so glum?" she said. James tried to back down immediately, but Akina laughed when he did.  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't do anything to you," she said. "You're kind of like my alter-ego, and that would just be wrong."  
  
"Ok-k-kay..." he stuttered. Lily came back from the snack table and shoved Akina way from her James.  
  
Meanwhile, Sirius was being barraged with questions out of Tsuki, who apparently really liked her Maraurder counterpart. Fish-chan didn't like it though, sitting through the interrogation, constantly putting in her view on the matter of discussion even when she was completely lost. Chels and Fuf were playing a Zelda game on the Gamecube that had been brought down from the upstairs and Remus and Nehszriah were playing with the portable stero, dancing and singing every once and awhile. (Nez: I can't sing!)  
  
"So do you know who is most like your Remus out of the lot of us Muffins?" Tsuki asked Sirius.  
  
"No. Not at all."  
  
"Our Fuf! She's our voice of reason and... well... we're all pretty smart, so she's just as smart as him I guess!" Tsuki said happily. "I'm most like you, you know. Yep! Like two peas in a pod!"  
  
"Not the way I see it you crazy witch," Sirius muttered under his breath.  
  
"Tsuki!" yelled Chels. "Stop scaring the poor guy! AAAAHHHH!!! FUF!?! We're supposed to be working together!" Her video game character died at the hands of the merciless Fufu next to her.  
  
"I SEE A LITTLE STILETTO OF A MAN; GOT A MOOSH GOT A MOOSH, WILL YOU DO THE FANDANGO?!?!?!" Remus yelled over the Queen music. "THUNDERBOLT OF LIGHTING; VERY, VERY FRIEGHTING!!!!!" Nehszriah, embarrassed beyond all belief, pressed a button on the control panel and the music that was "Bohemian Rhapsody" turned into Japanese ranting. ("Crazy Sunshine"- the Pillows!)  
  
"Hey! I was listening to that!" Lily growled. The precious ancient music was the only thing in the room (besides James) that made her comfortable.  
  
"Lighten up," Nehszriah said. "C'mon, have some fun, relax."  
  
Sirius then ran screaming past the two girls, up the stairs and shut himself in the room of Tsuki's younger sisters, Regan and Taylor. Luckily, neither of them were home and Sirius could sit alone in the pink room of death, rocking back and forth in horror.  
  
"What'd you do Tsuki?" Nehszriah yelled over Remus's attempt to sing the crazy Japanese song, butchering it horribly. "What the hell did you ask him?"  
  
"Nothing! I just asked him if he wanted to go up to see my manga collection! Why?"  
  
"I think he took it the wrong way," James snickered. "Remus, SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!!!!!" Remus stopped singing "Mr. Roboto" and stood there with a rather timid look on his face. Everyone went upstairs and knocked on the door, trying to persuade Sirius to come out.  
  
"I'm not coming out, unless it's to go home!" he screamed through the door.  
  
"You don't go home for another week and you can't stay in there and eat Barbie doll heads the whole time," Akina said calmly.  
  
"It's alright Sirius," Chels put in.  
  
The door creaked open and Sirius peeked out, checking for the hyperactive stalker-girl. When he saw the all-clear, he carefully stepped out, only to have the other hyperactive stalker-girl known as Fish-chan to latch on. He sighed, for this one he was at least used to by now.  
  
"Can we go home?" Sirius asked.  
  
"FIELD TRIP!!!!" Tsuki yelled, jumping out from behind Nehszriah, scaring everyone. The girls got their brooms and went through the two portkeys, ending up in King's Cross. They went through the train barrier and took off into the sky, following the train tracks all the way back to the castle.  
  
REVIEW REPLY!!!!!!  
  
Nez: -in caffeine low- So, let's see to those spiffy reviews.  
  
Zan: Take it easy sis. You just woke up. –turns on light in basement-  
  
Nez: GGGGAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! –writhes in pain- MY EYES!  
  
Zan: -sighs and turns off light-  
  
Nez: Better. –looks online- Feh. No reviews. Review people! –falls asleep- Zzzzzz... 


	10. Part Ten: Meeting Shadows

Nez: I am going to disregard what I said in the opening disclaimer skit.  
  
Zan: So you bought out J.K. Rowling?  
  
Nez: No, baka, that Ron and Hermione won't be in this fic.  
  
Zan: That's mean. You shouldn't lie you know.  
  
Nez: Have I lied to you before this?  
  
Zan: -skeptical look- What about that time when I was ten, you told me those squirrels in the backyard were just hugging?  
  
Nez: -eyes shift- That was... umm... advanced hugging. Yeah... advanced.  
  
Zan: And the Ranch Dressing/Taco Bell Mild Sauce Fairy from last year?  
  
Nez: How else can we have such an overabundance of the stuff?  
  
Zan: By going to the store and Taco Bell a lot. We do eat a lot of fast food.  
  
Nez: -smacks forehead- Damn.  
  
Part Ten: Meeting Shadows  
  
Finally, the ten friends arrived at Hogwarts. They all landed in the Quidditch field, laughing at Fish-chan, who almost fell off Sirius's broomstick when they were landing. Six figures ran up to them from half-way across the field, wanting to see who in the heck they were.  
  
"Bloody hell," James whispered as he went up to the one teen and poked him. "It's just like looking into an eye-changing mirror, except its real." The boy in front of James looked quite ruffled and shoved his arm way from him.  
  
"Who are you?" said the tall red-headed boy next to the first. Behind him was a girl with bushy brown hair and behind them were three boys, the bigger two standing in front, looking as if they were protecting the smaller one.  
  
"I'm James Potter. I really don't know who you blokes are, but I don't think you go to school here."  
  
James's twin gasped.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
James jumped back.  
  
"We're still in the stinking future, aren't we?" Sirius asked Fish-chan. She nodded her head in response.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU?!?! YOU'RE FRIGGIN' NUTTERS!!!" James yelled. Lily put her hand on his shoulder, immediately calming him.  
  
"Mum? That you?" the boy asked Lily. She and James looked at each other and each took a giant step away.  
  
"What's your name?" Nehszriah asked. She wasn't afraid, on the outside at least.  
  
"I'm Harry Potter. These are my friends Ron Weasely and Hermione Granger," the boy said happily. The small boy from behind pushed through and bowed deeply.  
  
"My name is Draco Malfoy," he said with a wide devil's grin. Nehszriah was pleased with him and just happened to forget that Remus was right next to her. She blushed and held her hand out.  
  
"My name's... HEY!" Draco went right past her as if she wasn't real and right towards Fish-chan. Nehszriah was furious at him and would have beaten him to a pulp if Tsuki, Fuf, Akina, Remus and Chels hadn't held her back.  
  
"Hello, what's your name?" Draco smoothly asked the madly blushing Fish- chan. Sirius stepped between the two of them, furious at the little blonde punk for even looking at her.  
  
"This is my girl, got it?" he growled in his scariest, toughest voice. Draco's eyes got wide and he ran off, Crabbe and Goyle following right behind him.  
  
"Wow," Ron said. "That git's never taken off that fast before."  
  
"Now, why are we your parents again?" Lily asked Harry.  
  
"Because you just are, but older," Hermione replied. "See? Harry has your eyes, but James's... everything else."  
  
"Indeed," Remus said, comparing his best friend and Harry. James and Harry looked at him like he was insane.  
  
"Fish-chan," Nehszriah said. "What channel is your watch on?"  
  
She didn't answer. She and Sirius were doing the unthinkable... KISSING!!!  
  
"Umm... Fish-chan...?" Nehszriah said as she slowly went up and tapped her friend lightly on the shoulder. "I said, what channel is your watch on?" Fish-chan held up three fingers without even stopping. "Ah, crap." Nehszriah smacked her forehead as she walked away from the horrendous sight which now involved Tsuki attempting to pry her Sirius and Fish-chan away from each other.  
  
"What?" Remus asked.  
  
"Wait," Hermione said. "I think there's something wrong here. How did you all become teenagers?"  
  
"Huh? Why?" Chels asked.  
  
"Sirius is in Azkaban and James, Remus and Lily are at the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters."  
  
Sirius stopped when he heard his name.  
  
"What'd I do? Blow up a street of Muggles?"  
  
"Well, get framed for it at least," Ron smirked.  
  
"Oh, for heaven's sake, FISH!" Nehszriah yelled. She grabbed Fish-chan's wrist and pressed a button on her watch. The ten friends were suddenly standing in a still scene. Neither Ron, Harry nor Hermione moved.  
  
"What'd you do?" Akina asked, poking Harry in the chest. He wobbled and fell over like a cardboard cutout. "Oops..."  
  
"It's alright. We're going to another dimension," Nehszriah said coolly. She was standing there as if she was waiting for the Knight Bus to come.  
  
"ANOTHER DIMENSION?????!!!!!" everyone seemed to say at once. The motionless backdrop then started to melt and drop from beneath them.  
  
"Yes, obviously, the portkey in the airport was on the blitz again. It's really old, rarely used, unkempt, and best of all, illegal, and when that happens, it has the tendency to skip generations and dimensions. Gradually we will get back to the Maraurders' time, but might have to go through a few different time periods and alternate realities," Nehszriah said as she looked at Fish-chan's watch. "This watch also helps to regulate everything, but also has the tendency to malfunction itself."  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
"This is why she went and not any of us," Fuf grumbled.  
  
"Yeah, this makes my head hurt," Tsuki moaned. She started spinning in place, considering she had no ground to twirl on, and threw up what was supposed to be a month's supply of pocky in the swirling, dizzy abyss of color.  
  
Zan: -utterly disgusted- Why am I not there and do you have something for Draco?  
  
Nez: One, his is too intense for participants such as yourself. –pummeled by Zan- -broad smile- Two, maybe, but all the evil Slytherin boys have something for Fish-chan!  
  
Zan: -sighs- That's for sure. –beats Nez- STOP PLAYING THAT STUPID SONG!!!!!!  
  
Nez: -blares song from "Brigadoon"- -sings off key- COOOOOOOOME TO MEEEEEEE, BEEEEEND TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
Zan: -covers ears- Lalalalalalalalalalalalala... NOT LISTENING! –mutters- Stupid Tsuki.  
  
Nez: - Heh...  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Akina kumi-tami: Thank you for all those spiffy comments. They sort of scared me when I first saw them, but they are appreciated.  
  
Aaaaaand to everyone else (who didn't review): Part Eleven only has a title, so I will take a while in writing it. To make matters worse, computer time has been slashed for me, so it shall be written in secret! Write to ya soon! 


	11. Part Eleven: Impossible, Yeah Improbable...

Nez: -happy dance- .hack and Cyborg 009 is on Friday nights! –more dancing-  
  
Zan: Yes, in a fluke accident, we taped all of .hack, but the tape ran out before Cyborg 009 came on.  
  
Nez: ...and it's a new season too! –pouts-  
  
Zan: Stop it. Type. –Indiana Jones whip appears out of nowhere- GO MY TYPING SLAVE! –fwich iii fwich iii-  
  
Nez: -typing frenzy- Geez! All this because I can type and you can't?  
  
Zan: ...and you are the main writer. I just like being an awful muse.  
  
Nez: -growls- When it comes time for you to write a report for Marchel (hopefully, his next Language Arts teacher), you're on your own.  
  
Zan: -smacks forehead- Crap. I hate you.  
  
Part Eleven: Impossible, Yeah; Improbable, Not Entirely  
  
As poor Tsuki kept on puking, the scenery got stiller and stiller, until they were back in the Quidditch field. There they saw Harry being severely annoyed by a third year girl who looked like Lily and a first year miniature of himself. He tried to escape on his broom, but the girl used a charm to keep him on the ground.  
  
"Hide!" Chels said as she and the other Muffins crammed the Maraurders into hiding in the stands.  
  
"Stay here," Akina whispered. She dragged Nehszriah and Tsuki along with her to go investigate this scene. She didn't know it, but Remus was coming right behind them. "Hello, Harry!"  
  
"Get them AWAY FROM ME!!!!" he yelled.  
  
"Harry!" his small double screeched. "Mom said you have to give us a turn on the broom!"  
  
"Yeah!" the little Lily added. "Benji and I want a turn!"  
  
"NO!!!" Harry disarmed the girl and took off in the sky, fuming.  
  
"Who are you?" Remus asked, scaring the hell out of Akina.  
  
"Benjamin Potter!" the boy piped up.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm his sister Korianne. So, who are you?"  
  
"I'm Tsuki and this is Remus, Akina and Nehszriah!" Tsuki said happily. She had a mysterious ring of brown around her mouth and a few Hershey's wrappers were on the ground behind her.  
  
"Ah, crap," Fuf said from her hiding place.  
  
"What is it?" Lily asked. Fuf was the only one looking at the confrontation and Lily didn't think everything was going as spiffily as hoped.  
  
"Those two are not supposed to exist." Fuf ducked back down and Sirius took her place.  
  
"Tsuki ate chocolate?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Yeah, that's bad," Chels said. "She gets hyper way too quick. Fish-chan's naturally hyper, but when you get Tsuki on chocolate, you have Fish-chan times ten."  
  
"Hey, someone else is coming!" Sirius whispered. Soon enough, the older Sirius walked up to the real and non-existent kids.  
  
"What's going on here?" he asked everyone. He looked over at the Maraurders and Muffins before him and gave a weak laugh.  
  
"Good potion Remus, almost fooled me," he laughed. "So who are your friends?" Everyone besides Remus and old Sirius, including the young one, was floored.  
  
"Heh... It's a long story old pal..." he started. Nehszriah cut him off.  
  
"Yes, very long. So long in fact, that we can't stay around and talk about it, so come on now Remus." She yanked the young werewolf back to the hiding place. Akina had to do the exact same for Tsuki, being this was the older version of her stalker obsession they were walking away from. All the Muffins and Maraurders watched as the three mysterious figures walked back towards the castle. Once they saw the all clear, they began to relax, only to have Harry pop up behind them.  
  
"See you met my siblings and Professor Black," he grinned.  
  
"I'm a professor?!" Sirius squealed. "What do I teach?!"  
  
"You are not a professor. Professor Black teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts up at the castle. Where in the hell are you from anyways? You are clearly not from around here."  
  
Nobody said anything. They were all too scared to talk, because they'd mess stories up. Finally Fuf started to mutter.  
  
"Nehszriah has the answer to that, don't cha Nehszriah?" As she dragged her friend upwards, she whispered in her ear. "If you can take'em down in P.E., you can take'em down here." –push-  
  
"We're Americans," Nehszriah said, fairly nervous. "We kind of got lost because we all are horrible at directions?" –sweatdrop-  
  
"Then why did Professor Black call your friend there Remus? The only Remus I know of is an adult already." Harry looked carefully at Remus and cleared his throat. "But then again... they do look awfully similar..."  
  
Nehszriah's eyes started to shift, first to her friends from America, then to her friends from the past, then thought of something.  
  
"Immobilous!" she yelled. Harry stopped moving and Lily, thinking quickly, put a Memory Charm on the teen. Fish-chan pressed a button on her watch and they were all back into the swirling vortex. Tsuki closed her eyes, but couldn't help heaving what was left of her stomach contents.  
  
Nez: -holds up shot glass like in Part 9- To the pathetic-ness of the chapter! –downs shot-  
  
Zan: -bolts into basement- I thought I locked the Moon Mist up!  
  
Nez: -Jack Sparrow moment- Can't hide anything from me, chum. You don't know how to secure your treasure properly.  
  
Zan: Stop this NOW. People will think you're crazy if you keep this up.  
  
Nez: Too late for that, you're just going to have to square with that fact some day. You have a crazy sister, and there's nothing you can do.  
  
Zan: -sighs- For the love of ranch dressing... -walks away- -goes to Tiger/D- backs game-  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Fufulipin: I shall miss you greatly.  
  
Fish: I know you didn't review, but do please. I know you're back. I can feel your insanity level all the way over here, past the school district line. –long distance hug- -  
  
Tsukinooni: Here's Your KR Zanbato went to the Tigers/Dimondbacks game at Comerica Park. Our dad offered to take me too, but I passed. I can just watch all the ceremonies and the game here without having to deal with traffic or all the stupid people. It shames me to say that they are celebrating the TWENTIETH anniversary of their last World Series win in '84, so we're taping it. –sighs- ...and some people wonder why I like the Tigers over the Pistons... 


	12. Part Twelve: Sad Dramatics

Nez: I LOOOOOOOOOVE the flash to the future in the new Inu-Yasha!  
  
Zan: -just as excited- YES!!! Me too! –fangirl squee-  
  
Nez: -looks at brother with interest- Why'd you do that?  
  
Zan: Do what? –eyes nervously shift-  
  
Nez: You squeed. Guys don't squee. Fangirl squeeing is for fangirls.  
  
Zan: -sniff- I didn't know...  
  
Nez: Well, now you know. –types situation into opening skit-  
  
Zan: NOOOOOO! –pummels Nez- STOP IT!!! DON'T TELL THEM!!!! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!!  
  
Nez: Suuuuure it didn't... -broad smile- Oh... and this fic chapter has a wee spoiler from Book 5. I hope nobody really minds too much.  
  
Zan: -laughs- You said "wee"! –falls over in giggles-  
  
Nez: -sighs- Maturity of a third grader.  
  
Zan: -still doubled over in laughter- That's me!  
  
Part Twelve: Sad Dramatics  
  
When the transfer to another dimension ended, nobody was around the Quidditch field. The Muffins and Maraurders had to walk all the way up to the castle before they found anyone, and that just so happened to be Professor Umbridge. (Remember book five? Yes, we are now in the real HP world!)  
  
"What are you doing out of bounds Potter?!" she screeched at James.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Don't play dumb with me! You think changing your eye color makes it difficult to recognize you, then you're WRONG!" She grabbed his forearm and started to drag him away. Sirius cut her off and decked her right in the cheekbone, shattering it.  
  
"YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!" she yelled. "HOW DARE YOU HIT YOUR SCHOOL'S HIGH INQUISITOR? EXPULSION!!!!"  
  
"What High Inquisitor? Where's Dumbledore?" Remus asked.  
  
"Don't play daft boy. I control the school. Where have you been the past few months?"  
  
Suddenly, someone from behind hexed Umbridge, distracting her long enough for the teens to escape. They ran down the hallway and into the Room of Necessity, where they literally rammed into Harry, Ginny, Ron and Luna.  
  
"WHAAAA! Who are you people?!" Ginny squealed. She hid behind her brother, shaking.  
  
"Umbridge is after us," Akina said, gasping for air.  
  
"Yeah, that ruddy idiot thinks we go to school here," James said. He kept his head down so that nobody could see his face.  
  
"Well I can tell why," Luna sang. He seemed happy and oblivious to the fact that the horrible witch was just outside the door, trying to find all of them. "Running around the school dressed like Hogwarts students, you put yourselves to it."  
  
"Hello!" Tsuki said happily, having ate some more chocolate. She quickly introduced everyone, using only first names attempting not to arouse suspicion to the fact that the Maraurders were from the past, but it didn't work.  
  
"Whoa, Sirius, Remus?" Harry said as he walked up to the Maraurders. "Are you both... real?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, what'd you expect?" Fish-chan said. She put her arm around Sirius and Harry stared at them with confuzzlment. Hermione then came rushing in the room, exhausted from running.  
  
"Harry, are you alright?" she said. "Good thing I went back to the dormitory for my books, or I wouldn't have been able to distract Umbridge."  
  
"Huh?" I haven't left this room," he replied. "These kids came in only a few seconds ago." He went over towards James and grabbed him by the robe collar. "Who are you?!"  
  
"J-J-James P-P-Potter."  
  
Harry's eyes went wide as he let go of his young father's robe. "It can't be. You're not here, it's impossible."  
  
"Why is it not possible for us to be here?" Lily asked. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked as if they were going to shit their pants in shock.  
  
"You are both dead," Ron said. "You were killed fourteen years ago."  
  
"Yeah, and Sirius is on the run from Azkaban!" Harry yelped.  
  
"Where's that rat Peter?" Hermione growled. She started to look through the crowd of kids there.  
  
"Why do you want to see that thing?" Chels asked.  
  
"So I can kill him. That's why. The little rodent as good as killed James and Lily and if I'm not mistaken, you came from the past," Hermione answered. "Because you came from the past, I can kill Peter now, he won't be able to betray James and Lily, Harry will have parents and Voldemort will be captured and soulless."  
  
"How'd you know the Maraurders are from the past?" Akina said.  
  
"Simple, I just recently heard a rumor of an illegal portkey route that led to some location in America. I learned in Charms class the other day that portkeys that are not set up by the Ministry of Magic tend to switch dimensions and time periods. There are items that exist that can control such a phenomenon from happening, but they are quite rare."  
  
Everyone just stared at Hermione, wondering how she knew that.  
  
"So what you're saying is that portkey setup is common knowledge in this time period?" Remus asked.  
  
"Well, yeah. How else could Nehszriah and I get to you guys if it wasn't?" Fish-chan hotly said.  
  
"Maybe in America such spells are very common, but not in England," Hermione added. "Our Ministry is very secretive on such matters. They want to prevent as much illegal activity as possible. If you were found out, you'd have both countries on your tails."  
  
"Figures," James muttered.  
  
"No... not really," Tsuki started. Nehszriah finished her thoughts.  
  
"What she means is, we are currently so illegal it isn't even funny. Azkaban could be the fate for the Maraurders, but Fish-chan, the Muffins and I would surely get life in Salem Fjord."  
  
"Is that the American prison for wizards?" Luna asked, everyone else still dumbfounded with the fact that the girls call themselves "Muffins."  
  
Suddenly, the door to the room started to pound uncontrollably. They all heard Umbridge outside the door, cawing like the demon she was.  
  
"Gaaah! Quick! Do any of you have an item like the one I talked about earlier?!?!" Hermione screeched. Fish-chan ran over to her immediately, showing her the watch. Hermione grabbed her forearm, aimed carefully and yelled: "Quiestioum Hidten!"  
  
In a blinding flash of light, all those who belonged in another time, place and world had left. Umbridge did not find the Room of Requirement until much later and the Maraurders and Muffins eventually landed in the Gryffindor common room during the correct time and dimension, thankful Hermione paid attention in class.  
  
Nez: -staring into infinite bliss- ...  
  
Zan: Sorry, her card bump was on Thursday's Adult Swim. She's been like this since she saw the recording. I think it's a bit too far.  
  
Nez: ...  
  
Zan: That was the first time she really tried too. Sis! Snap out of it! –claps hands-  
  
Nez: -lands back on Earth- Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry!  
  
Zan: Couldn't come up with a better title than "Sad Dramatics"? It sucks big time.  
  
Nez: It was typed at nearly four in the morning! How am I really supposed to focus on the bloody title at FOUR IN THE MORNING!?!?!?!  
  
Zan: Jeez... calm down. Here's some pop... -produces 2-lieter of Faygo Moon Mist Blue from thin air-  
  
Nez: Alright, you win, but first... here's the review replying!  
  
Fishie- Your ideas intruige me and I wish to learn more.  
  
Fufulupin- I just like the idea, I guess. I think it's all the chocolate in her system. 


	13. Part Thirteen: The Quarrel

Nez: This is going to be a long and interesting chapter.  
  
Zan: Why?  
  
Nez: I get to be out of character.  
  
Zan: -monotone- Whoopdie-doo for you.  
  
Nez: Be happy Zanny!  
  
Zan: Why?  
  
Nez: -pulls at corners of Zan's mouth- Caaaaaaause it makes everyone happy! –grin-  
  
Zan: -smacks Nez- Naive wench.  
  
Nez: -sniff- Zan...  
  
Zan: -smack forehead- Damn. I got it upset.  
  
Part Thirteen: The Quarrel  
  
"Hooray! We're home!" Lily squealed as she danced in the common room. Sirius and James immediately concentrated on finding a way to get their luggage over to Hogwarts, as well as the Muffins out. Zanbato was able to be reached and somehow was capable of send over the trunks from Tsuki's basement. Everyone settled down and reflected on their confuzzling trip through dimensions.  
  
"Never doing that again," Akina sighed.  
  
"Agreed," everyone else chimed in.  
  
"I just have one problem though," Remus said. "Where are we going to keep the Muffin Mafia?" All of the Muffins blushed.  
  
"Dunno, our room, I guess," Fish-chan suggested.  
  
"Well, you might be able to pass as students for awhile if you're lucky," Sirius commented. He sat down on the couch next to Fish-chan, who snuggled lovingly into him.  
  
"Give me that busted watch for a second, Fish-chan," Nehszriah said as Remus took his respective seat next to her.  
  
"What do you mean 'busted'? It got us back! Hermione's spell worked!"  
  
"I'm saying that it's busted, so hand it over."  
  
"No! I could fix it if it was broke!" Fish-chan righted in her seat and clutched the watch.  
  
"No, you couldn't," Nehszriah said calmly. "Besides, we all know the Charms and Magical Items expert here."  
  
"Lily?" James chimed in. Lily gave him a whack on the head.  
  
"No, me," Nehszriah said smugly. Remus and the Muffins stared at her, for she usually didn't act this way.  
  
"Why are you the expert at everything?" Fish-chan retorted.  
  
"I am at everything worth while."  
  
"Divinitation is worth while! What about Muggle Studies? I at least study stuff that is applicable in the real world."  
  
"What do you mean," Nehszriah growled. She stood up, nostrils flaring.  
  
Fish-chan stood up as well, going right up into Nehszriah's face, which she had to look up slightly to see.  
  
"What good is Ancient Runes or Alchemy? They rarely or never pop up in a modern job description."  
  
"Yeah, if you want to be an ALCHEMIST!!!!"  
  
"Settle down there ladies," Sirius nervously said.  
  
"Padfoot's right. Let's talk this over calmly. How's about some tea?" Remus added. He and Sirius got up and stared towards the girls, who gave them each such menacing glares that they quickly sat back down again.  
  
"Since when do you want to become an Alchemist?" Fish-chan asked. "You never wanted to be one before."  
  
"I was just giving an example!"  
  
"Still, I don't think an Auror needs to know about some ancient scribblings that nobody else can read! Why is it such a big deal?!"  
  
"Secrets passed down from the Ancients can unlock many powerful spells, incantations, teach us about the past..."  
  
"You, of all people, to be in love with the past!"  
  
"Not my past or your past, what came before it!"  
  
"One like yourself should only be concerned with the present and future," Fish-chan half-yelled.  
  
"We learn from our past! If the past is kept hidden, then we'll never be able to fully move into the future!"  
  
"Then why are the leaders of the world making those same flawed decisions that had been made before?"  
  
"They are ignorant and do not wish to remember!" Nehszriah came back. "If they weren't like that, there would be less crime, hatred, death and sorrow."  
  
"Nothing can change that!"  
  
Everyone was quiet for a long time. The only noise was Fish-chan and Nehszriah's heavy breathing. No one else dared to make a sound or even move in the slightest way.  
  
"Don't lecture about what you don't know of. I've seen too many things to have you change my mind," Nehszriah growled.  
  
"Fine, I'm leaving," Fish-chan said with a snort. She picked up her trunk and stormed towards the door.  
  
"Wait!" Sirius shouted. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Home. I don't need to hear her tainted, biased emotions any longer," she snarled as she pushed him away.  
  
"Let her go," Nehszriah barked. Fish-chan turned around.  
  
"That shirt looks good on you. It matches you wretched soul." She spun around and left fuming. Nehszriah, in turn, stormed up the stairs to the girl's dorms.  
  
All the others were near speechless, especially the Muffins, who had never seen either of the two get so worked up over anything before. After a few hour-long minutes of silence, they started to chat once more.  
  
"I'll show her," Fish-chan grumbled as she roamed the halls for a hidden portkey that would take her back home. Severus Snape just happened to walk by, on this way to the library and purposely ran into his livid stalker target.  
  
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," he mumbled as their shoulders slammed.  
  
"Out of my way," Fish-chan hissed. Severus, so curious about what got her in such a foul mood, silently followed her to a statue of a medieval wizard, where she disappeared behind it. He sat there for a moment, gathered up his courage, and went after her. He came out; right where he came in, except Fish-chan was there.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she whispered. Just then, a Slytherin prefect came up behind them.  
  
"Who may I ask are you two?" he sneered. "By the looks of it, you're a fellow Slytherin, but I can't seem to identify who you are." He looked over the both of them with interest, particularly Fish-chan. "What are your names?"  
  
"Severus."  
  
Fish-chan didn't answer instantly. She kept looking over the boy in front of her. He seemed to be a sixth or seventh year, tall with short dark hair and deep black pools for eyes. She searched in her mind for a name, one she didn't have to use ever again.  
  
"My name is Angel," she said softly.  
  
"Fine, come with me then," he replied coldly. He started to walk briskly away, Severus and Fish-chan struggling to catch up.  
  
"What's your name, if ours is so important?" Severus asked as they reached the dungeon entrance to the Slytherin common room.  
  
The boy just turned around, an evil smile plastered across his pale face.  
  
"They call me Tom Riddle."  
  
Zan: Dramatic. You've clearly outdone yourself.  
  
Nez: Thanks! –grins-  
  
Zan: I thought you'd recognize the sarcasm.  
  
Nez: Ku! I did!  
  
Zan: -twitch- You did not, baka.  
  
Nez: -wink- Let's reply to the spiffy reviews!  
  
Zan: Whatever.  
  
Fish- I visited the site and... well there was your fighting! 


	14. Part Fourteen: Earth Angel

Nez: Another long chapter, just for you, 1001 words long!  
  
Zan: Whoopie.  
  
Nez: Oh, I also have to disclaim on something. I do not own the movie or book "Holes", Louis Sachar owns them and all the contents.  
  
Zan: When will I come back?!  
  
Nez: Well, not this chapter. This is a Fish Adventure.  
  
Zan: Where is she? I don't get it.  
  
Nez: -bops Zan over head- Shut up newb.  
  
Part Fourteen: Earth Angel  
  
The three teens walked into the common room to find most of the Slytherin House there, as if they were waiting for them. They were nervously seated in the middle of the circle, surrounded by boys who seemed no younger than Severus. All around them, the strangers were murmuring, discussing the newcomers.  
  
As a bolt of lighting crashed outside, the boys went silent and a cloaked figure stepped before them. He stood still for a moment, then threw open his cloak, revealing an exact duplicate of Draco Malfoy.  
  
"I am Lucius Malfoy, Slytherin prefect," he sneered. Fish-chan suddenly caught his eye and he looked at her with strange interest.  
  
"Riddle, what is this one's name?" he said, not taking his eyes off the frightened girl.  
  
"Angel," Riddle answered. "I doubt it's even her real name."  
  
"Fine, Restricto," Lucius said dully. Severus's arms and legs were bound to his sides by neon green cords of light and his whole person sealed to the wall.  
  
"Severus!" Fish-chan squealed. The boys around her started to murmur happily, making her wonder what they all would do.  
  
"Fi- uhh... Angel!" Severus cried. Riddle hexed Severus, causing him to blackout.  
  
"Now, oh fair maiden," Lucius grinned wickedly. He went up to Fish-chan, put his arm around her waist and whispered in her ear: "You sing."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You shall sing for us! Prophecies passed down through the ages, some as old as Slytherin House itself, foretell the coming of a stranger who shall lead us to ultimate domination!" Lucius roared, rallying the mass of boys around them.  
  
"Ultimate domination?" Fish-chan asked quietly.  
  
"Yes, the eradication of Muggle-borns, half-breeds, blood-traitors! The only requirements you need to show now are the ability to sing and lineage."  
  
"So come on girlie, sing," Riddle chuckled.  
  
"You tell her Voldemort, you lady-killer," Lucius laughed. He turned back to Fish-chan, conjuring a short platform beneath her feet. "Sing."  
  
Fish-chan didn't know what to do, let alone sing. She searched in her mind for something that none of the teens before her would remember in the upcoming years. She searched for what seemed like hours, but then belted out one of the most beautiful renditions of "If Only, If Only" from a movie she saw back in her time.  
  
"'If Only, If Only,' the woodpecker sighs.  
  
"'The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies.'  
  
"While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely  
  
"Crying to the moon  
  
"'If Only, If Only.'"  
  
She paused for a second, searched for more to the song that Nehszriah sang countless times and continued.  
  
"'If Only, If Only,' the moon speaks no reply  
  
"Reflecting the sun, and all that's gone by  
  
"Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly..."  
  
Suddenly, Riddle started to croon the rest of the song, inching ever closer to Fish-chan and staring into her eyes.  
  
"Fly high, my baby bird,  
  
"My Angel, my only."  
  
He stopped, came within centimeters of kissing Fish-chan and said sexily: "She passed."  
  
The whole common room went up in cheers, already claiming her reign as their leader.  
  
"How'd I pass?" she asked nervously.  
  
"I, Sole Heir to the House of Slytherin, am ultimately entitled to choose if the candidate passes or not. Soon, you shall be the undisputed Queen of the Wizarding World," Riddle sexily whispered. Lucius laughed.  
  
"And I'm sure you want to be by her side as King, don't you?" he teased.  
  
"You would like it too Lucius, don't deny it," Riddle snapped. Malfoy blushed and went off, mumbling to himself.  
  
"How'd you know that song?" Fish-chan asked as Riddle helped her off the platform. "Nobody is supposed to know that."  
  
"Written by my ancestor, Salazar Slytherin, he predicted that there would be the day when a total stranger to our ranks would be able to sing that song. That stranger would become key to our victory," Riddle explained. He sat Fish-chan down and poured her some sort of drink, which she reluctantly held. "There is also one legend that only I know, it is the only thing I have of my mother's..."  
  
He pulled a worn piece of parchment from his robe pocket, opened it gingerly and handed it to Fish-chan, motioning for her to read it.  
  
"It has the song... the song I just sang!" she panicked.  
  
"Yes, it also depicts how we are to treat you, talk to you, even who you are to eventually wed, all for the eventual takeover of our world." He pointed to a spot on the parchment, which shimmered in the candlelight.  
  
"'The Leader is to eventually be tied to a true blood Slytherin, one closest in age to her,'" Fish-chan read. She looked up at Riddle, who got an almost crazy expression on his face. Fish-chan stood up, really scared. She was the only girl in the room and didn't exactly trust all these guys, who would all be old in her own time.  
  
'I'd rather kiss Severus,' she thought.  
  
"What's the matter?" Riddle said. He advanced towards Fish-chan, who backed up until she hit the wall next to the unconscious Severus. She suddenly got an idea on how to escape the mess.  
  
Throwing her drink into Riddle's face, she spun around, unbound Severus, suspended him in mid-air and ran out the door. The common room's occupants raced after her, led by Riddle and Lucius. When Fish-chan found the portkey, it didn't work! She ran around the castle, trying to find a place for Severus and her to hide, finally running into a dead end.  
  
"You little..." Lucius started. He drew his wand and was about to curse Fish- chan when Riddle stepped in the way.  
  
"Don't you dare, Malfoy," he snarled. "You know the rules."  
  
Lucius lowered his wand slowly. "What hidden truths are you keeping from us?"  
  
"Nothing. She just shouldn't be hurt."  
  
Lighting struck outside, sending enough electricity through the air to activate Fish-chan's watch. She and the unconscious Severus were surrounded by bolts of lighting and then disappeared with a bang, returning to the future.  
  
Nez: I hate it when the fanfiction server crashes. Here are spiffy reviews!  
  
Fish- You are my only reviewer. –squeeze- Yes I took your advice, silly! 


	15. Part Fifteen: Returning Friendships

Nez: Well, since Zan shall be gone on "vacation" for a few days... I have enlisted the help of one of my many alternate personas...  
  
Fish: -pops out of nowhere- Hello!  
  
Nez: Gaaaahhhh! Where'd you come from? Where's Adam-sama?  
  
Fish: Ummm... in your room and my dad drove me?  
  
Nez: How did you find my basement?  
  
Fish: I asked your mom where it was.  
  
Nez: -smacks forehead- Damn.  
  
Part Fifteen: Returning Friendships  
  
Fish-chan, her trunk and an unconscious Severus flew out of a time-vortex thingie and landed in a huge, tangled pile. 'Ah, crap,' Fish-chan thought as she shoved Severus off her legs. 'I'd better put him back where he belongs before that spell wears off and he wakes up. She animated Severus's body, put on her spiffy Invisibility Cloak and headed towards the Slytherin common room, hoping to find someone who'd let "Severus" in.  
  
- - -  
  
"Well, that's not apologizing any time soon," Remus said as he limped down the dormitory stairs. His left shin was swollen and he had a big welt on his face in the shape of Nehszriah's hand. The Muffins giggled and the Maraurders sighed.  
  
- - -  
  
'I hate this,' Fish-chan thought privately as she weaved through the Slytherin dungeon, trying not to bump into anyone. She stifled a laugh as she passed a group of guys staring at a huge poster of some girl singing and went to put Severus away. Fish-chan laid her stalker out on his bed and went back towards the door. As she passed the guys ogling the poster, she decided to take a look at who was the poor soul they were fantasizing about.  
  
'Cripes.'  
  
It was her! The Slytherin boys had a Fish-shrine! Disgusted and scared, she sneaked out and stormed into the Gryffindor common room, scaring everyone. She ripped off her cloak and started towards the stairs.  
  
"I wouldn't go up there if I were you," Tsuki warned as she gave Remus some ice for his shin. Sirius stood up and went over to Fish-chan and took her hand.  
  
"It's dangerous up there. Please don't go."  
  
"You don't know what I just went through," Fish-chan snarled as she jerked her hand away and bounded up the stairs. She slammed the dorm room open, to find Nehszriah sitting on her bed with the lights off, Linkin Park blaring on the stereo and staring into nothingness. She sat up and the two looked at each other for what seemed like hours and then ran towards each other and hugged.  
  
"I'm sorry," they said in unison. "No, it's my fault. Really! Oh!" They both started to giggle and giggle until they fell on the floor in laughter.  
  
"What the hell?" Sirius asked as he and Remus peeked their heads into the room, backed by their friends. They dragged the giggling wrecks downstairs and had Fish-chan explain what she meant earlier by "You don't know what I just went through," all shocked and scared and very, very confuzzled. She started the story with Sirius half-way across the room, but he was right by her side when she ended, as if to protect her form the evil Slytherin demons.  
  
"I don't believe it," James scoffed. Fish-chan, to prove the shrine existence, dragged everyone over to the Slytherin common room, where they were just in time for the daily worshipping of the poster.  
  
"Why I oughta..." Sirius growled. Fish-chan had to hold him under the cloak so he wouldn't be seen. They all went back in shock and went straight to bed without any other words between them.  
  
Nez: -plasters walls of basement with pictures of her various bishies (e.x.: Sessho-maru, Yami, Soujiro, Marius (okay... Rice vamp is not an anime character, but it works))-  
  
Fish: Zan was right. –prods spiffy pic of a seventeen-year-old Ash that Nez found on theotaku- You are beyond help.  
  
Nez: I realize my addiction... s. –downs Moon Mist shot-  
  
Fish: -sighs- You are a hopeless Yami addict. That just says it all.  
  
Nez: -strokes Yami pic before putting it up- ...and your point is?  
  
Fish: -smacks forehead- Oh, Zan. Come home soon. 


	16. Part Sixteen: The Interrogation

Fish: We are sorry for the relative shortness of the last chapter.  
  
Nez: Yep. Hey, guess what, I found Adam-sama!  
  
-a boy dressed in all black, carrying a skateboard and listening to hard metal/rock through headphones walks in-  
  
Adam: -growls- Hey.  
  
Nez: ADAM-SAMA!!!! –huggles Adam-  
  
Adam: -growls- Get off. –punches Nez, who lets go and whimpers in return-  
  
Fish: -holding back laughter- This is one of the people in your head? Kind of not well... you. –doubles over in laughter-  
  
Nez: Yes he is! His lair is deep inside and he rarely comes out.  
  
Adam: -monotone- Yes, I like to be morbid and recluse. Now leave me alone. –cranks up CD volume- -Trapt music blares-  
  
Nez and Fish: -stares- Okaaaaay...  
  
Zan: -on T.V. screen- -serious and official-like- I am Zanbato and I support this chapter of "Fish-chan and Nehszriah Meet the Maraurders." –American flag blowing in wind fades into screen-  
  
Part Sixteen: The Interrogation  
  
Remus sat alone in his bedroom, looking out the window at the Forbidden Forest. He held in his hand, a framed picture of Nehszriah, which would every so often, smile, give a V-for-victory and wink. As he slowly turned his attention to the picture, the frame began to glow and shake. Remus dropped it just in time, for Nehszriah's younger brother, Zanbato, to emerge from it.  
  
"Good afternoon," the gangly America said. He seemed to have more of a serious air to him than before, which particularly bothered the werewolf.  
  
"Hello. How, may I ask, did you get here? Did your sister explain portkeys to you or something?" Remus smiled. He had hoped this would lighten the mood a bit... but it didn't.  
  
"I have acquired information that has led me to believe that you are, in fact, my sister's boyfriend. Is this claim legitimate?"  
  
One person popped in his mind that could have possibly squealed on them.  
  
"Sirius," he growled.  
  
"As well as Fish-chan. Tsuki was also easy to bribe one I pulled out the Mocha Latte."  
  
"What do you want!?"  
  
"It is simple," Zanbato said, as if he were reciting a script. "I only wish to lay out the ground rules for the two of you to abide by, that's all."  
  
"...but isn't your dad...?"  
  
"He is at work. I am the oldest brother and therefore, it is my responsibility."  
  
Remus sighed at the fact that he was going to get a lecture from someone who wasn't even born yet.  
  
"Rule One! Don't attempt to 'get it on' with her, for you two are not married and she's wearing her chastity belt, which only our dad had the key for."  
  
"Chastity belt?"  
  
Zanbato knocked on his own hip, which gave off a metallic chime.  
  
"I've been given one too, just incase. It keeps one from having..."  
  
"I get it! I get it! Just go on!" Remus panicked.  
  
"Rule Two! You... uhh... AH SHIT! I forgot!" He smacked his head against the wall a couple of times and made a depressive and dramatic slump onto the nearby bed. "This was so much easier with the mirror."  
  
The werewolf smiled slightly and sat down next to him. "Did it have anything to do with Fuf being my alter-ego?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Still, I have morals, whether it is apparent or not."  
  
"I didn't answer your question."  
  
Remus was taken aback by this comment.  
  
"What question?" he asked.  
  
"How I got here," Zanbato answered. "Nehszriah probably doesn't know this, but I am a very powerful wizard, ahead of most of my class by weeks or even months. I turned that picture frame into a portkey of sorts, one that only I can use. Because it was my sister's I thought it would lead to you eventually."  
  
"Well, you were right," Remus answered. He never would have thought that Nehszriah's brother would care so much for her. "You know Zanbato, we don't have to be enemies."  
  
"We don't?" the flustered teen said. "That's cool. Here, can you give me that?" He pointed to the picture, which Remus immediately gave to him. "Furise hotin Remus Lupin."  
  
"What was that for?" Remus asked.  
  
"You can now use this portkey, that is, when you wish. It's just an easy spell modification."  
  
"But that was cool," Remus admitted. Zanbato blushed.  
  
"Thanks. I can teach it to you if you want," Zanbato said, quite please with himself.  
  
"Alright, but here," Remus said. He went into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a small fountain pen and handed it to Zanbato.  
  
"What is this for?" Zanbato asked, very confuzzled.  
  
"It's a way to write me. Write your letter on ordinary parchment and when you fold it up, write my name and yours on it and it shall go straight to me."  
  
"You here?"  
  
"Yes, the future me would make sure of that if he ever gets it. Trust me."  
  
So, Remus and Zanbato went on for hours, teaching each other new spells and tricks. They also learned that they had a lot in common besides Nehszriah. When Zanbato finally had to back to his own time, he had learned all sorts of tricks to pull on his Wizarding History teacher, Mrs. Johns and Remus had acquired some new, futuristic tricks of his own.  
  
Nez: -pops up with socks on hands and ears, with a Gollum plushie on head- Gollumrox rox my sox!  
  
Fish: -scared- Umm... Nez...? –shifts away- Is this "Gollumrox" the origin of that "Chastity belt" thing? –shifts further-  
  
Nez: -too busy playing with the socks to notice-  
  
Adam: Yes. Gollumrox wrote a really long "Pirates of the Caribbean" spoof that did not go with the story line at all and Nez here loved it.  
  
Nez: -shakes head violently- Uh-huh! -goes back to socks-  
  
Fish: Alright. –shifts even further-  
  
Nez: You have one too Fish! –knocks on Fish's side, which produces metallic clang-  
  
Fish: Ah, crap.  
  
Adam: Heh. Sucker. –laughs slowly with a maniacal sound to it-  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Fuf- Don't blame me for my Writer's Block. He also brought his cousins Layout Block and Block Party. Yeah... that was sort of what kept me from writing, except it was a graduation party.  
  
Fish- You just told me that five hours ago on the phone.  
  
Everyone else- I have chapter seventeen typed and eighteen is being worked on as you read (spiffy, huh?). Don't slam on me if I don't update in a few days... trust me, this is hard stuff. This is stuff you could write fanfics on! All right, toodles! Sayonara! Gute Nacht and all that good junk! 


	17. Part Seventeen: Rosy Royalty

Adam: How can you force yourselves to write this thing?  
  
Nez: Easy, Zan just cracks the whip (figuratively) and I type.  
  
Adam: But Zan isn't here.  
  
Fish: I know, isn't it great?  
  
Nez: A thousand pardons to Rose, Kif and most of all, Fish.  
  
Fish: Why?  
  
Nez: For messing up your family tree when it isn't in real life... and I turned Rose into a bit of a royal pain.  
  
Fish: Oh... WHAT'D YOU DO TO MY FAMILY?!?!?!?!? –tries to beat answer from Nez-  
  
Adam: -sits back and watches ordeal- Fun. -snaps fingers- -a mud puddle appears around Nez and Fish- That's more like it.  
  
Nez: ADAM-SAMA!? WHAT'S WITH THE MUD!? –Adam snaps fingers and the girls appear in bikinis-  
  
Fish: -snaps fingers and everything goes back to normal- You are so dead. –twitch-  
  
Adam: Oops. –runs away-  
  
Part Seventeen: Rosy Royalty  
  
The happy Maraurders and Muffins enjoyed their week to themselves. Nobody bothered them and when it came time for classes to start and the Muffin didn't want to leave, only Old Man Torstein complained, being he didn't like the general chipperness of Tsuki, Akina, Fuf and Chels. Everything was going along splendid when Fish-chan and Nehszriah got a summons to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"I wonder what it is," Nehszriah said as they walked down the halls together.  
  
"I dunno," Fish said. "It's probably nothing, really. How much trouble could we get into?"  
  
"Loads, trust me," Nehszriah answered. She had gotten into a bit of trouble before, for no apparent reason, so she knew how the "system" worked, so to speak.  
  
"Fish-chan, Nehszriah," Dumbledore said as the teens walked into his office. "There is someone who is here to see you." He stepped aside to reveal a near-mirror image of Fish-chan, but with long, brown hair and a dress on.  
  
"Gah! Rose?! How'd you find me?" Fish-chan yelped as she ducked behind Nehszriah, who was thoroughly confused.  
  
"Mom told me where you ran off too, so I came looking."  
  
Fish-chan growled at the strange girl called "Rose" and got her wand ready beneath her robes.  
  
"Umm... who are you?" Nehszriah finally asked.  
  
"Princess Rose of Herfamiffapolous," she answered curtly.  
  
"Where's Kif? He's usually with you..." Fish-chan said.  
  
"You never told me you were a princess!" Nehszriah yelled at her friend.  
  
"Well, I'm not! She's my half-sister. I am, by no means, royalty. My mother just remarried after my father died when I was little... then THAT was born." She pointed towards her half-sister. "We also have a younger brother, Kif."  
  
"Hmm... that explains a lot." She started to count on her fingers. "Why I can't come over to your place, why you don't let me see your family, why you don't..."  
  
"Ahh!" Fish-chan said, covering Nehszriah's mouth. "Don't!"  
  
"I think, that since it is the weekend, we can allow Rose to stay for a few days?" Dumbledore suggested. Fish-chan didn't like this, but accepted anyways. They led Rose through the hallways towards the common room entrance. One they were there, Fish-chan pulled Nehszriah aside for a second.  
  
"Don't talk politics, culture, language or even simple social settings while she's here, got it?" Fish-chan hissed.  
  
"Okay... what made you think I'd do that?"  
  
"You talk politics with nearly everyone who has some opinion, that isn't good," Fish-chan said. "Umm... where's Rose?"  
  
"I dunno. I thought you were watching her," Nehszriah said as she looked around.  
  
"Well I'm not the girl's keeper, am I?" Fish-chan spat. They walked up to the Fat Lady's painting and she started to screech.  
  
"I didn't know there were two of you?!?!" she wailed. "I thought I just let you in five minutes ago!"  
  
The girls looked at each other and said together: "Rose!"  
  
While this was all happening, Rose had entered the Gryffindor common room to find no one around. She looked and looked until Sirius came down the stairs and came up behind her.  
  
"Hello there," he sexily whispered in her ear. He had no idea that she was Rose, he thought she was Fish-chan! He turned her around and kissed her!  
  
"Who do you think you are?!?!" she yelled as she shoved him away.  
  
"Fish-chan, it's me, Sirius, your boyfriend...?" he said nervously.  
  
"I'm not Fish-chan, I'm Rose!" she yelled.  
  
"Then where's Fish-chan?" the confuzzled Sirius asked.  
  
"Right here, baka," Fish-chan said as she came up behind Sirius, scaring the crap out of him. "What were you doing kissing my sister?!"  
  
"I-I-I didn't know it was her! I thought she was you! Honest!" Sirius pleaded. The commotion caused the other Maraurders to come down from the dormitory, while the Muffins and Peter were conveniently absent.  
  
"Odd," Lily said, prodding Rose. Fish-chan was busy backing Sirius into a corner to notice her sister pummeling Lily.  
  
"How dare you kiss my little sister thinking she is me? I ought to give you a piece of my mind. I mean, HOW COULD YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Fish-chan screeched, making poor Sirius cower in fear.  
  
"Stop it!" Nehszriah yelled at her friend. She went over and tried to stop her advancement on Sirius, but couldn't hold her until Remus came over and grabbed her other arm and held her down. Sirius ducked behind James, who had just released Lily from Rose's death grip.  
  
"Hey, stick up for yourself Padfoot," James squawked as he dodged Fish-chan and let her beat the crap out of Sirius.  
  
"Wow," Rose said. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."  
  
"Well, I do," Fish growled, getting into her sister's face. "Now stay away from him, got it?"  
  
"Sure, whatever."  
  
So they introduced the royal pain to the Maraurders formally, then found the Muffin Mafia, introduced them and left Peter out, for it would just scare him that there were two Fish-chans, for one was bad enough. (See Part Four for reference)  
  
Fish: -while beating Adam- DIE!!! DIE!!!  
  
Nez: -snaps fingers- -prayer-bead necklace appears around Fish's neck- Sit girl.  
  
Fish: -falls to floor headfirst- OW!!!  
  
Adam: -tries to escape- Heh...  
  
Nez: -snaps fingers and prayer-bead necklace appears at Adam's neck- Sitzen Junge.  
  
Adam: -falls to floor headfirst- Damn German class.  
  
Nez: -twitch-S itzen! SITZEN! SITZEN!... –continues to yell "sit" in German-  
  
Fish: -watches Adam get pounded into ground- Whoa... -shudders-  
  
Review Reply!  
  
First off, it's probably the most often I've updated all summer, which is sad. I will probably blame Zan formally for that. He wasn't pushing me hard enough. Bad muse. –Zan's soul is crushed, over 250 miles away- Part sixteen though, he did write with me while on a road trip, a long time before even fourteen was created. To be honest, I doubt he knows of chapter fifteen, let alone, what's to come.  
  
Fuf- Thanks for pitying me.  
  
Fish- Punch your sis for me. I got it up. . 


	18. Part Eighteen: Prong's Plan

Nez: Umm... some more disclaiming... do not own Waffle House Restaurants (that goes to the South), the Blue-Collar Comedy Tour, any of the brilliant work of Ron White or Jeff Foxworthy (they get that), Coca-Cola Products (I do like vanilla, no matter what I say in here) and I most of all, don't own Tequila.  
  
Adam: ...but you could own a bottle of it.  
  
Fish: She can't. She's only fifteen, baka. You know that.  
  
Adam: Yeah... but she could take it onboard an airplane.  
  
Fish: Could not.  
  
Nez: Actually, I could. A baby could bring a bottle of beer onboard with it, just as long as he could hold it and it can pass Customs. The nice lady in the Amsterdam International Airport told me... or us so.  
  
Fish: You can't bring nail clippers on a plane, but you can bring a case of Tequila?  
  
Adam and Nez: -heads shake violently- Uh-huh!  
  
Fish: -smacks forehead- What a time we live in.  
  
Part Eighteen: Prong's Plan  
  
Now the royal nuisance annoyed the crap out of everybody, no one was spared. The Muffins and Lily abandoned the party early, for they were having a severe lack of patience that day and didn't want it to backfire on them. Peter took one look at Rose, squeaked that the world was going to end and ran up the stairs and didn't stop until he was underneath his bed. Fish- chan wanted to play cards again and so, she, Rose, Nehszriah and the remainder of the Maraurders sat down in the infamous seats from Part Two.  
  
"This time, the game's 'Go Fish'," Fish-chan said, shooting James an evil look of death.  
  
"Hey... how did I know that would happen?" he smirked. He stood up and offered to get some pop for everyone.  
  
"Fine, but no funny business," Sirius said. James promised and went off to his secret pop reservoir. He got everyone glasses of pop, but put in Rose's glass, highly concentrated Butterbeer, which was basically the equivalent to a bottle and a half of Tequila.  
  
"This ought to liven the party a bit," he laughed. James brought the drinks back and distributed them out.  
  
"Yech, Vanilla Coke!!" Nehszriah groaned when she took a sip of her pop.  
  
"Here, this is regular soda," Rose said, handing Nehszriah her glass. "I didn't even drink out of it yet."  
  
"Thanks," Nehszriah replied, downing half the glass at once. James sat there, eyes wide. He was going to be in so much trouble...  
  
-Half-hour later-  
  
"I didn't want to be in public-k, they threw me into public-k. Arrest them," Nehszriah said, quite tipsy and with a thick tongue. She was going through a serious buzz and didn't even know what she was saying.  
  
"She's reciting 'Blue-Collar Comedy Tour," Fish-chan whispered to the others. "We have to get her out of here."  
  
"Prongs, this is all your fault!" Remus whispered.  
  
"I meant for it to be for Rose... so she'd loosen up!"  
  
"I hate you," Fish-chan growled at James.  
  
"If you've ever slept in a Waffle House... you might be a red-hic-neck," Nehszriah told Rose with a heavy southern twang to her voice. Rose tried to shuffle away, but Nehszriah put her arm around her shoulder and hiccupped some more. "I don't know how anyone could sleep in a Waffle House... could –hic- you?"  
  
"What is a 'Waffle House' or 'redneck'?" a disgusted Rose questioned, picking up Nehszriah's arm and throwing it back at the owner, who fell over onto the floor.  
  
"Let's get you out of here," Remus said lovingly to Nehszriah as he and Sirius picked her up by the arms.  
  
"Don't you dare throw me into the public-k," she groaned. Sirius and Remus just sighed and dragged her up the stairs, Nehszriah passing out on the way.  
  
"Prongs, dude, you are so hexed," Sirius snapped as he came back down the stairs. He chased the poor idiot around the room until he finally hit James with a fairly strong Shuptin Shocker Spell. Over two thousand volts of electricity went through James's body, knocking him unconscious.  
  
"What is going on?" Rose asked. "This is confusing. Tell me sis, does this happen often?"  
  
"Umm... no. This never happens."  
  
"Oh. Alright, I want to go home now," Rose said. She took out her wand and disappeared from sight.  
  
"Thank Merlin, she's gone," Sirius sighed as he slumped down into a chair. Fish-chan sat down next to him and Remus sat on the adjacent sofa, all falling asleep instantly. They had decided to leave James in the middle of the common room, smoking at the ears, for he deserved it and the Muffins and Gryffindor fifth year girls were investigating the horrible fate of Nehszriah, who was telling her redneck jokes with no seemingly end. They tried to get her to make sense, but the most she could make involved ice hockey, baseball or football, which only Fuf could barely understand. In the morning though, Nehszriah was back to normal and James became a temporary vampire once again out in the Quidditch field at the pleasure of all but of course, Lily.  
  
Nez: -puts down cordless phone- I just got off the phone with Zan.  
  
Fish: What'd he say?  
  
Nez: -twitch- He's having the time of his life.  
  
Adam: About the fic!?!?  
  
Nez: Didn't get to that.  
  
Fish: Figures.  
  
Adam: I never liked that one cousin...  
  
Nez: -hits Adam up the backside of head- We are not to discuss family issues online. It isn't ethical.  
  
Adam: Then why did you tell people that Grandma's crazy?  
  
Nez: She is and they asked why I hadn't been online in forever, so there! –sticks out tounge-  
  
-fight breaks out-  
  
Fish: -rubs temple- Damn. Why me?  
  
Rose and Fish- Deal with my methods of madness. Genius and madness do coincide every one and a while, so that you know... -crazed grin-  
  
Fufu- I am really, really, really, -one eternity later- really sorry. I don't know why, I just haven't written the Mafia in recently. That situation will be changed though. 


	19. Part Nineteen: Muffin Mafia Revolt

Nez: My apologies to the Muffin Mafia, for making them temporarily evil.  
  
Adam: You mean they aren't already?  
  
Nez: -twitch- Sitzen Junge. –Adam falls to floor-  
  
Fish: They are all very nice in real life, so I'm told.  
  
Nez: Yes, and it shames me to make them so evil, but I never expected I would have to do this.  
  
Fish: Why?  
  
Nez: Fuf wanted to see the Muffins in the fic more. I keep writing them out, which is very mean of me.  
  
Adam: So is making them evil.  
  
Nez: TEMPORARILY evil... in fact, not even that, it's more of an unintentional evil.  
  
Adam: Oh. Well, they will think you're evil after all the chapters you put up while they are trapped in the woods with no internet.  
  
Fish: Fuf is still around, right?  
  
Fuf: -in her house, reading this- Oh, good Lord... -rubs temples-  
  
Part Nineteen: Muffin Mafia Revolt  
  
The Muffins had had enough. Happy and spiffy adventures were taking place without them and they didn't like it. They stayed up in the dorm all of one Saturday morning, plotting their revenge.  
  
"We have to do something," Tsuki said. She was rummaging through her trunk, searching for random objects.  
  
"Nehszriah and Fish-chan can't have all the fun!" Fuf added, staring at Nehszriah, still passed out on her bed from one of her late night runs. "The guys are our alter-egos after all."  
  
"It's creepy though, the two of them with Sirius and Remus," Akina huffed. "I mean, only James and Lily are to have someone, and that's each other."  
  
"But they are meant to be. Just put yourself in my spot," Fuf growled. "I mean, Nehszriah and my alter..."  
  
"Stop your whining," Chels said, cutting off Fuf. "I've got the rat Peter, remember. Anyways... what are we going to do about this?"  
  
"I have an idea," Tsuki giggled. She took the Muffin Laptop out of her trunk, brushed the Floo Powder from it and started it up. Her friends gathered around and they continued their plotting with glee.  
  
- - -  
  
"What are we doing out here?" Fish-chan said. She and the Maraurders were out in the Forbidden Forest, in the middle of the night, freezing their butts off.  
  
"Because someone has our Nehszriah," Remus answered.  
  
"You mean your girl, not ours," Peter squeaked. Remus pointed his wand at Wormtail and zapped him in the rear to shut him up. (Yes, my fellow Peter- haters, I put him back in the story. –hangs head in shame-)  
  
"Still, we have to get her back," Sirius commented as he caught Fish-chan from falling flat on her face.  
  
"But why aren't her creepy friends here?" Lily commented. "Those 'Muffin' girls have to help look too."  
  
"I told you I tried looking, but they were nowhere to be found."  
  
"James, that is no excuse. They have to help."  
  
"Lily..."  
  
"Shh! I think I hear something!" Remus whispered loudly. They came into a meadow clearing and heard cackling all around.  
  
"Now it's our time to play!" Tsuki's voice rang out of the woods.  
  
"Where are you?! Show yourselves!" Fish-chan yelled. She drew her wand and her eyes began to dart around.  
  
"Snape?! What have you done?"  
  
"We are not that slimeball Snivellus," Akina said. "We are much more advanced than him."  
  
Remus fired his wand into one of the bushes, hitting someone behind it in the process.  
  
"Owwww!" Fuf yelped. She tumbled out of the bush, along with a bound and unconscious Nehszriah, whom Remus immediately rescued.  
  
"Not my idea, not my idea!" Fuf whimpered, attempting to tend to her injured leg. Remus fixed it in an instant, smiling at his female alter.  
  
"Tsuki, Akina, Chels, where are you?!?!" he yelled into the sky. The three girls dropped down from the treetops and laughed menacingly.  
  
"Our time for fun is now!" Chels cackled. He raised her wand and hit Peter square in the chest, sending him backwards into a tree, knocking him unconscious.  
  
"What fun?" Sirius yelled. "Is this your sick idea of fun?!" He pointed to Nehszriah, who was being helped by Fuf and Fish-chan now, as well as Remus.  
  
"No, but it just happened to work out that way," Tsuki interjected. She smiled broadly, showing her magically placed vampire fangs.  
  
"I think they're all being controlled," Fuf said. "They never act like this, ever."  
  
"I agree," Nehszriah growled, finally coming to. Remus looked at her funny, for she really did growl like a wolf or a dog. In fact, she seemed more animal now. There was a fiery glow in her eyes as she staggered to her feet and gained a fighting stance. "Vententiam!" she screamed. A blue light came from her wand tip, enveloping the three crazed Muffins. Ghostly figures surged from the girls' bodies.  
  
"Whoa!" everyone seemed to say at once. The figures disappeared and the exorcised Muffins dropped to the ground.  
  
"No!" Fuf yelled, rushing to her friends. Nehszriah collapsed into Remus's arms. It had taken a lot of energy to use the spell, so she fell asleep right then and there.  
  
"Let's take them back, before anyone comes looking for us," James said, picking up Akina. Everyone carried, in one way or another, a person back to the castle.  
  
Halfway there, Remus nudged Sirius and started to whisper.  
  
"Do you notice anything different about Nehszriah?" he asked softly.  
  
"No, don't think so."  
  
"I could have sworn she looked different, at least back there in the glen."  
  
"Well," Sirius said, adjusting Tsuki in his arms. "She did have sort of a demonic look to her back there. It's gone now, 'course."  
  
"Right," Remus whispered to himself, looking at Nehszriah. They all got back to the dorms in one piece and went to sleep, thinking of what they would tell those that were currently unconscious in the morning.  
  
Nez: Yes, many apologies.  
  
Adam: Yeah, right. You just wanted to practice your drama skills.  
  
Fish: Sitzen Junge. -nothing happens- Nez?  
  
Nez: Sitzen Junge. –Adam falls to floor, cursing- See? Only I can do it.  
  
Adam: Zan, where are you?  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Fuf- Yay! You can legally go in a straight line! –huggles Fuf-  
  
Rose and Fish- I can't find that review you said you'd post, but it's okay!  
  
Now, yes, they really weren't evil... but it was close. Tsuki got to be held by her Sirius and Fuf got to be sane. I am currently in the process of writing chapter twenty and because today is Saturday (evening (more like 10:45 is when I typed it)) I need to get all I can typed and up before Tuesday, for that is the day Zan returns. We had some laughs and well... what do I call that...? Umm... interesting moments...? Well, all I know is we had a lot of them and Zan might take them away. –Zan is further crushed and doesn't know why- Can everyone please tell me their favorite moments in the fic? This vital information shall be used to better the fic's spiffy and unwritten future chapters, for I will know what to write more of. –spaces out- Oh! I just saw King Arthur in theatres and I want you all to go see it if you haven't. There is one Arthur/Gwen scene that all you shy peoples might not like, but other than that... wh00t! Lancelot... -goes to happy place- . SQUEEE! –returns- Yes, the critic from the Associated Press is wrong that it is boring. She clearly didn't see those fight scenes... or Lancelot! Okay... bye! –runs away, with Adam and Fish in hot pursuit- 


	20. Part Twenty: A Demonic Discovery

Nez: Today's chapter is taking off with tons of back story to it, just to warn you.  
  
Fish: ...and she doesn't own Inu-Yasha, or any characters or character concepts from it.  
  
Nez: -elbows Fish- SHHH! That was for the end!  
  
Fish: Sorry!  
  
Nez: -growls- Feh.  
  
Part Twenty: A Demonic Discovery  
  
"WAKE UP!" a harsh voice yelled. Nehszriah tried to open her eyes, but they were too heavy. Her wrists and ankles were in shackles. She heard the crack of a bullwhip and a searing pain erupted in her bare side that made her grimace.  
  
"Come on, open your eyes. We know you're awake," another voice sounded. This one, unlike the one from before, was female and smooth. Nehszriah was able to get her left eye open enough to see through a blur. There, in front of her, were two Slytherin students from her Potions class, Rodolphus Lestrange and Bellatrix Black.  
  
"What in all the hells do you two want?" Nehszriah growled. Her other eye opened and her muscles tensed, readying for a fistfight.  
  
"Oh, nothing from you really," Rodolphus sneered, cracking the whip in the air, his dark hair gleaming in the faint light.  
  
"Then why do you keep me here? I am of no value to you like this... unless you want target practice with those Unspeakable Curses of yours."  
  
"Oh, why you are of value to us, my dear," Bellatrix laughed. "You are our bait for those idiot friends of yours."  
  
"Don't you DARE lay a single finger or curse on any of them, you hear?!"  
  
"Too bad," Rodolphus said.  
  
"Yes, we want my cousin Sirius dead. He has defied us long enough."  
  
"Then why take me?!"  
  
"Easy, my idiot relative will come, wanting his pet's best friend back. He will have your egghead lover, the Potter boy, Evans, that scrawny thing you came in with, those odd girls..."  
  
"...and your point?"  
  
"You will speak when spoken to!" Rodolphus yelled, punching Nehszriah in the face. Her cheekbone shattered and she hacked up blood.  
  
"Anyways, we shall kill, what? Ten birds with one stone? You all are a thorn in the Dark Lord's side that has to be pulled permanently. We so happened to volunteer to finish the job right here and now."  
  
"Dark Lord?" Nehszriah spat. Blood flowed from her mouth, dripping down her near-bare front and the leg of her pants. "What idiot is that, who dares call himself the 'Dark Lord'? He is a fool."  
  
Rodolphus punched her in the gut, sending more blood from her mouth, splattering onto the ground. "Do not belittle our Lord! He has powers beyond your wildest dreams! You could never hold a candle to his greatness!"  
  
"That's enough, if you push her too hard, we will have nothing to lure the rest with," Bellatrix said calmly, putting her hand on her partner's shoulder.  
  
"I don't care, push me! Just don't harm my friends!"  
  
"Yours isn't going to be the only sacrifice tonight, girl."  
  
Nehszriah started to laugh.  
  
"Who ever said anything about the damn sacrifice being mine?" The moonlight from outside crept across the floor and eventually poured over Nehszriah, who took it all in. "Tonight's the night of the full moon and I doubt you want know what happens to me then."  
  
Lestrange and Black stepped back, eyes wide.  
  
"You aren't a werewolf, are you?"  
  
"Even better, my good Rodolphus. A special type of demon, a very special dog demon," Nehszriah chuckled. She threw her head back and howled. When her face was once again visible to the young Deatheaters, her eyes had turned a fierce yellow, two purple stripes ran across both cheeks, more of the same appeared on her arms and a blue crescent moon lay upon her forehead. A ring of red surrounded each of her now animal eyes and her ears were pointed. Fangs protruded from her wretched smile that made it all the more fearsome to behold. She broke the weak shackles, sending metal shrapnel in every direction.  
  
"What the...? Shit! We can't take her on!" Bellatrix yelled.  
  
"What the hell are you?!?!"  
  
"Like I said before, I'm a dog demon."  
  
- - -  
  
"I wonder where Nehszriah is," Tsuki said softly over the pages of her Rice novel. She, the Muffins and Maraurders were all in the common room relaxing after a hard day of school. Remus had disappeared to the Shrieking Shack and everyone was naturally tense.  
  
"Where is she!?" Sirius yelled, smashing his fist into the table. "She better not have gone off to see that wolf or I'll..."  
  
"You'll what? What would you do to me Padfoot?" Nehszriah growled, limping into the room. Caked in dried blood of herself and others, she carried her many shirts in her right arm while using the left to stand against the wall. She was still transformed into the demonic form, but with many cuts and bruises.  
  
"Out having fun I see?" Fuf said calmly, not even looking up from her own book. "You really have to stop disappearing like that, it gets on our nerves."  
  
"Blame Sirius's bitch cousin and that boyfriend of hers. They want us dead and thought using me as bait would work."  
  
"Umm... why are you... so different?" Lily asked as she put her arm around Nehszriah to help her to a seat. All Nehszriah could do was laugh.  
  
"She placed a curse on herself, so that every full moon, she turns into a dog demon," Fish-chan explained. "On my birthday, I turn into a fish-demon respectively."  
  
"That's right, I'm a monster," Nehszriah laughed. She laughed until she passed out from fatigue and the others had to drag her upstairs before the first years found her. The Muffins, Lily and Fish-chan noticed though, that they were getting tired of dragging Nehszriah up to the dorm, but did it anyways, otherwise risk getting into trouble.  
  
Adam: I always hated Sessho-maru.  
  
Nez: Sitzen Junge. –Adam falls to floor- You are not to question my choice in anime bishies.  
  
Fish: Still, you could have written that better.  
  
Nez: -has demon moment- Grr...  
  
Fish: Crap... -runs away-  
  
Yes, I don't know why, but my AOL was going haywire the day I put up nineteen, so the reviews for eighteen, even Fuf's, were gone. I hate dial- up. It sucks. –wallows in self pity- Yeah, for all of you who don't know what went on earlier, I turned into a female version of Sessho-maru, a character from the Inu-Yasha anime/manga series. I did have some sort of shirt on too... for all of you that were curious. (You sick bastards.) As I am typing on this Sunday afternoon, hoping this will go up late tonight or tomorrow, ideas for the next chapters are brewing and cultivating (yes, like coffee and mold) in my head. This entire chapter above was typed during my [adultswim] Saturday anime lineup, so Inu-Yasha anime did have an influencing figure here. (As well as Wolf's Rain, Cowboy Bebop and Trigun, but they had much more minor roles... for now... -grins-) Zan is coming, Zan is coming, HIDE! –ducks underneath computer desk in WWII fashion- -Dad walks by, shaking head in shame- -Nez pops up- That was close! -Dad is worried about daughter's sanity- . Umm... yeah. Muffins, once you return to this world of pixels and htmls, read and review, so I know you're alive... all reviews are being answered next chapter... I'm rambling. Wow. Bye! 


	21. Part TwentyOne: Snivellus No More

Nez: I have answered the request of what would probably be many!  
  
Adam: No you haven't. You've been typing since the damn AOL corrupted and it's still Sunday.  
  
Nez: Too bad. I need to type out as much as I can.  
  
Fish: Our Nez does not own Fabio.  
  
Nez: Sit girl. –Fish falls to floor- Like I'd want to anyways.  
  
Adam: Yeah, you'd prefer scrawny girlie boys over the strong ones any day.  
  
Fish: -struggling to get up- That's so they're never stronger than her physically.  
  
Nez: Ohh... you two are so dead. Liars... –yells the commands repeatedly-  
  
Remus: -from in the story- I'm not girlie... -sad face-  
  
Part Twenty-One: Snivellus No More  
  
Another Potions class was in session and things weren't going spiffily for the Maraurders and company. The Muffin Mafia had to be separated from the group when they blew up three cauldrons in succession and Fish-chan and Nehszriah had the exact same partners as before. Severus's eyes stayed locked onto Fish-chan the whole time, never straying. Sirius came over though, while Torstein was distracted.  
  
"Stay away from my Fish-chan, got it?" he growled, towering over Severus. He promised not to lay a finger on Fish-chan and Sirius went back to his place.  
  
Severus did, however, stare at Fish-chan with more lust in his eyes than ever before.  
  
"Back off," Nehszriah said, also stepping between them once she saw Fish- chan in creep-out mode.  
  
"Nehszriah! Back to your bloody place and finish your Boil Buster!" Torstein screeched.  
  
"I'm done!" Nehszriah hollered back. Torstein hobbled over towards her cauldron and tested the potion.  
  
"Done. Fjord, did she do this by the book, or by someone else?" Torstein snapped at the meek Slytherin girl that was next to Nehszriah's empty chair. "Well? Answer me!"  
  
"By herself," the girl said softly. Torstein, enraged, came over to Fish- chan and Severus's cauldron and spilled the contents all over the floor, ruining all their hard work.  
  
"Snape, Steggel, stay after and finish this. Nehszriah, Mr. Black, don't either of you dare stay behind, or fifty points each from Gryffindor!" the fossil yelled as the bell rang. Fish-chan grumbled as she picked up her cauldron and righted it on the table. Torstein shuffled everyone out and locked the door. Fish-chan looked at Severus and sneered, knowing this was going to be a long adventure of an unwanted sort.  
  
-two hours later-  
  
"This isn't right..." Akina said at lunch. Everyone except the Muffins were calmly eating their food.  
  
"Yeah, what could that pervert be doing in there?" Chels asked.  
  
"Fish-chan is not a pervert, Severus is," James replied.  
  
"Yeah, besides, this happened before and it turned out fine," Nehszriah muttered through her lunch, which was this time, a ham-cheese-and-curry- sauce sandwich.  
  
"Still, I dunno..." Tsuki said. Then, with his perfect timing, Torstein came running out of the dungeon corridor, screaming at the top of his old man lungs.  
  
"SOMEONE'S LOCKED THE POTIONS DUNGEON!!!!! I CAN'T GET IN!!!!!"  
  
"Not again Hedrick!" Flitwick whined. "Come on, let's get some food into you, then we will go investigate this."  
  
"Not before we do," Sirius snickered. They all went towards the dungeon's door and broke it down like before, only to find Fish-chan finishing up her potion and Severus over by Torstein's Wall-O'-Potions, mixing and measuring away.  
  
"Okay, I'm done. Let's go get something to eat," Fish-chan said as she walked away from her desk.  
  
"Huh? You mean, you're alright?" Lily said.  
  
"Yep, I stayed away from him and he stayed away from me. Now let's go." Everyone followed, stunned. They left Severus in his happy little world and headed towards Care of Magical Creatures.  
  
"Finally!" Severus exclaimed, holding up a beaker of clear fluid. "I have found the secret at last!" He downed the liquid in one gulp and as it rolled down his throat, it burned like hell. He dropped the glass, shattering it on the hard stone floor.  
  
And then... he laughed.  
  
-Care of Magical Creatures Paddock-  
  
"Does anyone know where Severus is today?" the teacher, Professor Kettleburn asked. He was tall and grubby, with his right hand mangled and a fresh gash across his slightly pockmarked face.  
  
"Umm... I last saw him in the Potions dungeon," a random Slytherin boy said. Just then Severus walked up to the class, announcing that he was there.  
  
"Sorry I'm late," he said. Everyone gawked. The Severus they knew looked nothing like what just came to class, which was the dark-haired Fabio in Hogwarts robes that had been originally been created in Chapter Seven. Regina and Michaela (those other Gryffindor fifth-years that I never talk about, yeah, them) just started to melt as Severus took his place between them.  
  
"What happened to you?" Kettleburn asked, very curious to this sudden transformation.  
  
"Umm... puberty...?"  
  
"Close enough for me. Alright! Let's get to learning!" Kettleburn said happily. He went on for an hour about Norwegian Ridgeback Dragons and showed the special specimen he got on loan, with the Ministry's permission of course. He had to eventually call over the younger Hagrid to calm the beast down, which he happily did.  
  
Nez: -finishes commands, which left her muses deep underground- I had a lot of requests even before the request for requests to put Snape back into hottie form.  
  
Fish: -crawls out of hole- Sorry...  
  
Nez: Sit. –Fish falls to bottom of hole again- I will go on typing until I am told to get off the computer.  
  
Adam: Okay... just don't put me down there again.  
  
Nez: Sitzen. –Adam falls to bottom of Fish's hole, the two of them mangling at the bottom- Heh... -evil grin-  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Fuf- Wow. I got your actual reaction... creepy. What is KA? –confuzzled beyond belief-  
  
Fish- Maybe you and Padfoot... much later.  
  
Rose- A thousand pardons your royal highness. Like Zan, you will get a cameo... that pops up everywhere.  
  
Monday. I hate Monday. Four-year-old brother is watching Rocket Power on the television and I am wondering why I'm putting up two chapters today. Well, you read 'em, so... umm... konnichi-wa? –jams to "Bohemian Rhapsody"- Yeah... umm... I got Newtype magazine last night! For all who don't know, it's a manga/anime magazine. It came with a DVD with an episode of Gravitiation and something else that is escaping my mind at the current moment. And trailers. Tons of trailers. –"Every Heart" midi comes on- Yup! –bobs head- We had "family time" yesterday, which ment we had to go up to the crappy beach and I had to chase the little one around. I hate the beach. Loud kids and even louder teenagers. –rubs temples- -growls- Umm... review... please? Bye. 


	22. Part TwentyTwo: PrettyBoy Snape

(Typed on Tuesday, remember that!)  
  
Nez: I do not own Star Wars, Lucifer, gay guys, Linkin Park and it's TUESDAY!  
  
Adam: Point?  
  
Fish: -carrying a big box- Today, Zan comes home, so we are going to have a party!  
  
Adam: I thought you two didn't want to have him back.  
  
Fish and Nez: DUH!!!  
  
Adam: I don't get you guys.  
  
Fish: -puts party hat on Adam's head, sticks a party horn in his mouth and hands out Moon Mist bottles- Have fun!  
  
Adam: Sure. –dully blows horn- -shudders- People. –goes away-  
  
Part Twenty-Two: Pretty-Boy Snape  
  
Severus did his best not to hide his new form. Near instantly he became the school heartthrob and it was just enough to make a few people, like our heroes, sick to their stomachs.  
  
"This has to stop," James muttered at dinner a week after Severus changed.  
  
"Yeah, he's really creepy this way," Tsuki moaned. "I mean, he was creepy before, but this is celebrity creepy."  
  
"Yech, and all the girls in his fan club hate me to no end," Fish-chan added. "I hate fangirls."  
  
"His fangirls at least," Sirius put in. "How can someone like that git go from zero to everything that matters with just a small potion?"  
  
"Because, we judge people," Fuf said quietly between bites of her chicken.  
  
"She's right. Society today puts forth the idea that you have to be attractive to matter. In Muggle and the wizarding world, people are based on their appearances first, then their personalities if they're lucky," Nehszriah said. "We are all guilty of it in one way, shape or form, so just admit it."  
  
"Sure, but what are we going to do to spare all the super-shallow ones?" Chels asked.  
  
"I say we let them be shallow and make sure that they don't bring us over to the Dark Side," Nehszriah said curtly.  
  
"Like the Dark Side of the Force?" Remus asked. Nehszriah and Tsuki just shot him death-glares and he shrunk down, embarrassed.  
  
"Hello there," Severus said smoothly as he walked up to Fish-chan. "How's about you and me go out on the next Hogsmeade trip?"  
  
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you this to get it through that thick skull of yours, but Fish-chan's MY girl, alright?" Sirius growled, pushing Severus away. Severus just sneered and walked away, followed by a good portion of the school's girls.  
  
"We have to stop him," Fish-chan muttered.  
  
"But what are we going to do to stop him?" Akina asked.  
  
"Use our futuristic technology to drive him bananas!" Tsuki squealed. She took out her laptop and started typing.  
  
"Ah, no," Fuf said, closing the laptop on the Muffin's fingers. "We still have to check that thing out for more evil spirits and curses, remember?"  
  
"Oh," Tsuki whined, sucking on her sore fingers.  
  
"Wait, she just might have something there," Lily said, shocking everyone, for she and Tsuki didn't really get along.  
  
"What do you mean?" James asked.  
  
Lily beckoned everyone inwards for secrecy and then the plotting began...  
  
- - -  
  
Severus was walking down the hallway alone, which was unusual for the budding starlet. He was just starting to wonder where everyone was, when he tripped over the Muffin Laptop in the middle of the hallway.  
  
"What the hell?" He yelled, kicking the device across the hallway. It jerked on and loudly blared one of Nehszriah Linkin Park CDs, a particularly angry song at that. He approached the Muffin Laptop cautiously, as to not set off anything. He picked it up and the music turned off abruptly. A message started to scroll across the flickering screen.  
  
"Change back," Severus read. He scoffed, dropped the laptop and started to walk away.  
  
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING SEVERUS SNAPE?" a voice boomed from the laptop. Severus jumped, nearly peeing his pants. Nehszriah, Fish-chan, the Muffins and Maraurders had to control their laughter, for they surrounded Severus and the laptop, concealed by Invisibility Cloaks and spells. Nehszriah picked up the laptop, creating the illusion of the laptop floating.  
  
"What the...?!?!"  
  
"Severus Snape," Tsuki boomed into the speaker, careful to disguise her voice and not giggle. "Why did you drink that potion?"  
  
"Why else? My appearance changed! Isn't that enough incentive?"  
  
"But why did you?"  
  
"That is none of your concern." "For a girl, obviously."  
  
"WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?!"  
  
"My owner is good friends with the girl, duh," Tsuki said into the speaker. Nehszriah elbowed her in the side, forcing her to yelp in pain while the speaker was still on.  
  
"Who are you?" Severus asked, now skeptical to this mysterious being.  
  
"Umm... Lucy...?" Tsuki started.  
  
"..fer. I am Lucifer, Overlord of Hell," Nehszriah ended, lowering her voice to a deep growl. She smacked Tsuki on the back of her head, covered the microphone and whispered. "Lucy!?"  
  
Tsuki could only squeak.  
  
"Lord Lucifer, what is it that you command?" Severus asked, bowing deeply. Everyone was a bit confused, but Nehszriah hit the cue perfectly.  
  
"Reverse the potion. Reverse it in front of the many fangirls that you posess," she commanded.  
  
"But how would that help Voldmort and the Pureblood Movement? Wouldn't we need the strong support of many, which is the power I have over these girls... and the one Hufflepuff boy?" –shudders-  
  
"YOU ARE NOT TO QUESTION ME!!" Nehszriah yelled. She didn't even sound like Nehszriah, which scared her friends. "The reasons behind this order are going to be revealed in the years to come. It may confuse you further if I told you why."  
  
"As you command, my Lord," Severus bowed again and headed straight towards the Slytherin dorms.  
  
"And now, we wait," Lily said, coming out from underneath James's Invisibility Cloak.  
  
- - -  
  
"Thank you all, for this great week," Severus went on the next day before breakfast. The teachers had not arrived yet, while the Muffins, Maraurders and every member of Snape's fanclub, down to that Hufflepuff boy, showed up for the speech.  
  
"Wow, so dramatic," Sirius joked. He and the others were on the other side of the room, out of sight.  
  
There was a chorus of squeals from the crowd's occupants when Severus pulled a small flask from his pocket and uncorked it. Then, much to his fans' disapproval, he drank the flask contents. He turned around and when he faced the crowd again, he was the original hook-nosed, greasy-haired weirdo.  
  
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" his fanclub screamed. They turned on their heels and ran away towards their respective dorms. The Maraurders and Muffins couldn't stop laughing and only stopped when breakfast was served so they wouldn't choke. They eventually had to lie to Professor McGonagall that they had no clue to why the Muffins, Nehszriah, Fish-chan and Lily were the only female students to attend any classes all day, but she felt that she knew better.  
  
Zan: I'm back!  
  
-Nez and Fish are passed out on the floor-  
  
Zan: I leave for ten days and all you two do is lay around like slugs?  
  
Fish: ...and put up eight chapters!  
  
Nez: -Jack Sparrow moment- Savvy?  
  
Zan: -sighs- I wish I could have stayed longer.  
  
Review Reply!  
  
Fuf- I'm so happy that I make you proud! 


	23. Part TwentyThree: Under the Full Moon

Nez: Okay, now a chapter starring (mainly) the Maraurders!  
  
Zan: -mutters- Vain liar. –coughs- Speaking of people who never get their parts in the fic, where'd Fish go?  
  
Nez: Back home.  
  
Zan: Who's Adam-sama?  
  
Nez: None of you're business.  
  
Zan: I want to know!!!!!  
  
Nez: -shows Zan no. 16 disclaimer skit- See?  
  
Zan: Oooh. 'Kay!  
  
Nez: -sighs-  
  
Part Twenty-Three: Under the Full Moon  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this? Remus in werewolf form is quite scary," James asked a cloaked figure outside the Whomping Willow. Demon Nehszriah put her hood down and punched James in the arm.  
  
"Look at me Prongs, do I really look like something that is intimidated easily?"  
  
"Well, no, but..."  
  
"Then that settles it," Nehszriah said as the Willow froze. Accompanied by Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, she went down into the tree and through the tunnel. As they entered the Shrieking Shack, a shrill howl cut through the night air. Nehszriah ran up the stairs.  
  
'Stupid girl!' Sirius thought as he bounded after her. When he, James and Peter got to the bedroom door, they found Remus calmer than he ever had been as a werewolf, sitting on the bed, Nehszriah petting him.  
  
"Whoa," James said, changing back to human form. He came over and sat next to Nehszriah on the bed, Wormtail-Peter running off and Padfoot-Sirius hopped up besides James.  
  
"You worry too much," Nehszriah chuckled at James.  
  
"I guess so," James answered. He put his hand out to pet Remus as well, but the werewolf reached out to bite him.  
  
"Shit!" he yelled. This set off the wolf so much, that he attacked James. Nehszriah could only hold him back as James turned into a stag and bound out of the room.  
  
"Remus!!" Nehszriah screeched. He turned around and made a charge for her, barely scratching her cheek with his claws.  
  
- - -  
  
"Lily?" Fuf asked. "Where are the boys?" The Muffins, Fish-chan and Lily were in the common room doing their homework.  
  
"Out seeing Remus," Lily replied in a monotone fashion. "No big deal."  
  
"Nehszriah isn't up in her room. Could she have gone with them?"  
  
"Now why would she do that?" Tsuki giggled.  
  
"Oh, Tsuki!" Akina sighed. Tsuki was under the influence of coffee and probably shouldn't have been doing her homework, or even been in the room or out of restraints.  
  
"No, the boys have promised that they would never bring another being into that shack unless they could change into an animal."  
  
"What about an animal demon?" Fish-chan asked.  
  
"I guess that would work."  
  
The Muffins and Fish-chan swore in unison, using different words of course.  
  
- - -  
  
Morning came and light poured into the Shrieking Shack's windows. James and Sirius crept into the bedroom like ninjas, not sure if Remus was back to his old self again.  
  
"Look, he's asleep there, on the bed," Sirius whispered. Remus was sleeping soundly on the torn-up sheets and mattress pressed on the opposite wall of the room.  
  
"Yeah, and Nehszriah's here on the chair," James added, prodding the still- demon teen. "Jeez, she and Remus had to have really battled it out, for her to be scratched up this bad. Her clothes are ripped. Good thing she wore her old robes." Sirius walked over to James and whispered in his ear. They giggled and the carefully lifted Nehszriah from the chair, careful not to wake her. Placing her on the bed so she faced Remus, James and Sirius posed the two in a rather... compromising position. Then, taking a torn sheet, they covered the two up.  
  
"Wait!" Sirius went over to Remus and put his fingers in the scratch marks on Nehszriah's cheek. He and James then got beneath the Invisibility Cloak and waited.  
  
Not long afterward, Remus started to wake up. He opened his eyes slowly and when he was awake enough to acknowledge Nehszriah there...  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" he screeched. This woke up Nehszriah, causing her to scream. They tried to get away quickly and fell off either side of the demolished bed.  
  
"Did I...?" Remus squeaked, peeking over the top.  
  
"I was on the chair over there," Nehszriah said. She sniffed the air and then pounced on something at the foot of the bed.  
  
"Get off! Ow!" two voices rang out. Nehszriah pulled the Cloak from James and Sirius.  
  
"Uh, hello...?" Sirius nervously said. He waved slightly.  
  
"Have a nice nap?"  
  
- - -  
  
"There you are," Fuf scoffed as Sirius and James hobbled into the common room. Lucky for them, it was Saturday and the common room was empty, everyone at the Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw game. The two injured boys collapsed between Fish-chan and Lily, who were both confused.  
  
"What happened to you guys?" Fish-chan asked. Sirius's eyes just went wide and whimpered.  
  
Just then, Remus and human-Nehszriah walked in the portrait door, arm-in- arm, laughing and talking softly to each other.  
  
"What did you two do to my James?" Lily yelled, stomping up to them. "Why is he so, so, so...?"  
  
"In remorse for what he has done?" Nehszriah said coldly. She turned towards James and Sirius, growled so that she bared her non-existent fangs. The boys crouched backwards and whimpered. Nehszriah huffed up the stairs towards her room and Remus ran off towards his once Lily took out her wand.  
  
Nez: Ku! Nez-chan liked writing this chapter!  
  
Zan: No duh. You and Remus! COME ON!!! GET A GRIP!!! –slaps sis-  
  
Nez: Owies! –rubs slap mark-  
  
Zan: Tell me again why I came home?  
  
Nez: So I could do this... -puts prayer-bead necklace around Zan's neck- Onswari Shonen.  
  
Zan: -falls to ground- DAMN!  
  
Nez: Oh, yeah... 


	24. Part TwentyFour: OWLs Time

Nez: I do not own Hostess, Faygo and I would like to thank my mom for getting me all five of the Harry Potter books, for I really needed the fifth for this chapter in particular.  
  
Zan: It isn't totally accurate though.  
  
Nez: Alright... Lily and James weren't really together in fifth year, but they all know that.  
  
Zan: Are you sure? –stares into computer screen and taps the glass-  
  
Nez: Onswari. -Zan falls to floor- Do not touch the glass.  
  
Zan: This isn't a zoo or aquarium.  
  
Nez: -eyes shift- It isn't?  
  
Part Twenty-Four: O.W.L.s Time  
  
".. and I, as well as all the other teachers, want you to get a good night's rest and study, for in three days, your Ordinary Wizarding Levels are going to start!" McGonagall said. She had been going on all class period about the O.W.L.s and everyone was bored to death.  
  
"I'm dead," Nehszriah chuckled as class was dismissed. "I have never studied for a test my whole life."  
  
"Then why don't you start now?" Remus said, shoving a Potions textbook at her. "Come on, this will be fun! You and me, studying the night away, it will be perfect."  
  
The reaction of the Muffins and Maraurders could be summed up in two solemn words: crickets chirping.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remus, my friend, you are the most bookish teen to ever roam these halls," James said, putting his arm around Remus's shoulder, in a brotherly way, of course. "We are not."  
  
"Well, we study," Akina scoffed. "The rest of the Muffins and I, along with Lily and Fish-chan, study for every test, no matter what."  
  
"Sucks to be you then," Nehszriah laughed. The rest of the girls just walked off towards the Gryffindor common room, to study of course, all highly annoyed.  
  
"Never studied?" Remus whimpered.  
  
"Not for as long as I can remember. Maybe in like, the first four or five years of Muggle school, but not for anything magical for sure."  
  
"Looks like Moony's dream girl isn't so perfect for him after all," James snickered.  
  
"Wait, where's Peter? I could have sworn I saw him in class," Sirius said, looking around.  
  
"Don't know and don't care. Now I'm off to get some lunch," Nehszriah said, walking off towards the Great Hall.  
  
"No study?" Remus whimpered. He looked as if he were going to have a breakdown, right in the middle of the hallway.  
  
"Oh, come on!" James whined. He and Sirius had to coax him along to lunch and back to the dorm, where they were reluctantly sucked into the study group.  
  
- - -  
  
Very early the next morning, Fish-chan awoke in the dormitory to a small beeping sound. She looked at her watch, which read 3 A.M. She shuffled over to Nehszriah's four-poster bed, where the curtains were drawn and a soft light, along with the beeping, was coming from inside.  
  
"What are you doing?" she scolded. Nehszriah turned around, eyes bloodshot with a Hostess Ho-Ho her mouth. She had clearly been up all night playing video games and surfing the internet.  
  
"What?" Nehszriah said. The snack cake fell from her mouth, which she caught with shaky reflexes.  
  
"Our O.W.L.s start on Monday. It is Saturday morning. When are you going to study and sleep?"  
  
"Never study and during the O.W.L.s...?" Nehszriah answered with a quiver to her voice. She started to shake and grabbed a bottle of Moon Mist and started to chug it.  
  
"Yuck! You are disgusting!" Fish-chan sneered. She closed the curtains and went back to sleep. She knew that this weekend would be a long one.  
  
-late Monday morning, Great Hall-  
  
"Is it still alive?" Sirius asked, poking Nehszriah in the shoulder. Their first O.W.L. test was over and they had the rest of the day off, but the second time was called, Nehszriah collapsed on the desk in front of her.  
  
"NEZ-CHAN!?!?!?!?!?" Tsuki screamed in her ear. Nehszriah just kept on sleeping. "GET UP!!!!!!!!"  
  
"It's no use," Fuf said. "She's out."  
  
"Well, we aren't going to leave her here, are we?" Remus asked. He was feeling a bit better since Friday's episode and in return, a little more sympathetic.  
  
"If we do, Peeves or a teacher will get her. If we take her with us, she will just be a big, scary-looking burden," James laughed. It was true. Nehszriah looked as if she stayed up for the whole weekend, looming over the laptop, anime and video games and eating nothing but ramen, Hostess cakes and her beloved Faygo Moon Mist.  
  
"I say we leave her," Lily said.  
  
"We can't," Akina objected.  
  
"Uh, yeah, we can." Lily stormed off, James and the Muffins following close behind.  
  
"Great, leave us with the psycho," Fish-chan moaned.  
  
"Psycho? Where?" Nehszriah muttered, yawning and rubbing her eyes. "Is the Hot Severus on the loose again?"  
  
"No. We were talking about you," Sirius said.  
  
"Me?" Nehszriah stood up and stretched. "Why me?"  
  
"Because you've done nothing that would even remotely help yourself study," Remus said, quite flustered.  
  
"I... studied."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"I looked at my books," Nehszriah answered as they walked away. "Isn't that considered studying?"  
  
"She forgot how to study," James said, just as shocked Remus and James.  
  
"We are going to whip you into shape girl!" Sirius said. They dragged her to the library and forced the books upon her. She ended up getting excellent marks in that first test, which everyone else claimed to be a miracle and she did phenomenal on the ones for the rest of the week and particularly did well on the Defense Against the Dark Arts test, being a good portion of it was on werewolves, demons and other mythical beings. All the others scored high too, except Peter, who naturally sucked at everything.  
  
Nez: Now all of you out there who know me well enough to know how I "study" are probably laughing your asses off right now.  
  
Zan: I'm not. That is sad.  
  
Nez: Dud, you are the exact same way.  
  
Zan: But we don't have video games.  
  
Nez: It doesn't matter. If we did, that's what I'd do.  
  
Zan: Sick. –sticks out tongue-  
  
Review Reply!  
  
First off, the part in 22 when I went "Lucy... fer" was not my idea. Blue Collar Comedy Tour and Blue Collar TV's Bill Engvall was responsible for the bit. I wish to not take credit for others' genius. I did, however, make the rest of the Laptop from Hell encounter and the thing where Severus actually talks to it. –giggles evilly- I went to Masqureades! –huggles Jaken plushie- Yes, the local otaku store has had it's first official visit by Nez-chan, along with Tsuki and Akina, my Waffle and Taco Muffin buddies. I had Japanese soda, got tons of chocolate pocky, my first real anime plushie that didn't come with fries and a small pop, and a .hackEXTRA SOUNDTRACKS CD. I tried to get the first or second one, but they were all out. Don't blame them. They are kick-ass CDs! My Jaken has wood in his eyes! Still, now I can really pretend to be the female Sessho-maru! –SQUEEEE- Yes... obsession. –smiles- Ku! Also, if you liked this fic (which isn't over) and Pirates of the Caribbean, then check out my new PotC parody! Sayonara! 


	25. Part TwentyFive: A Black Gathering

Oh.Nez: -triumphant pose- I am going to revolutionize the way fans write Maraurder ficlets!

Zan: No, you aren't.

Nez: Yes, I already have, as a matter of fact.

Zan: How?

Nez: Have you not been paying attention my horrible muse?!?!

Zan: Not since I went off on vacation and you wrote SEVEN CHAPTERS WITHOUT ME, and PUT THEM UP WITHOUT MY CONSENT... I've only paid attention to the skits.

Nez: -twitch- Onswari. –Zan falls to floor-

Nez: I love Adult Swim.

Zan: I though you said they sucked for the schedule changes.

Nez: They showed a piccy of STORMTROOPER ELVIS!!!!!!!!!

Zan: So?

Nez: -twitch- Onswari. –Zan falls to ground-

Stormtrooper Elvis: Uh-huh, thank you, thank you very much.

-closet door opens-

Closet Elvis: I'm from Royal Canadian Air Farce and all shook up.

Zan: I hate your imagination.

Part Twenty-Five: A Black Gathering

"But I don't wanna go!!!" Tsuki screeched. She was being dragged to the school train by her fellow Muffins, for it was time for Summer Holiday. "DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!!! WHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

"Shut it!" Fuf yelled, slapping Tsuki. The poor girl just whimpered and started to cry. "Aw, crap."

Now nobody really knew how they were going to shove twelve people into a compartment for ten. Peter happily went off to his girlfriend (see ch. 8) and since Fish-chan was so skinny and light, she sat on Sirius's lap and there wasn't any real seating problem. A game of Old Maid was getting underway when the door slammed open.

"Regulus!" Sirius yelped. Sure enough, Sirius's younger brother by two years was at the door. He looked a lot like his elder sibling, except his eyes were narrower and he was slightly stocky.

"Older brother, I have a message for you."

"You have a younger brother?" Fish-chan asked. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Well, we never knew of your siblings until a while ago," Sirius whispered harshly. "Now Regulus, what is it?"

"Mother would like you to come home for a week before you go off with that Potter boy, now come." He walked off and Sirius reluctantly followed.

"Sirius! Wait up!" Fish-chan called as she chased him down the corridor. "I'm coming too!"

"Tell me something; are there Pure Blood families in America?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"For all my family knows, you are a Pure Blood, got it?" Sirius said as he stopped in front of a compartment door. He opened it and there was his brother Regulus, his cousins Andromeda (she's the good one!), Narcissa and Bellatrix and Bellatrix's boyfriend Rodolphus. He stepped in, clutching Fish-chan's arm, said nothing and sat down next to Andromeda.

"Did you have a good time at school little cousin?" she said cheerily.

"Hey Andi, I'm only younger by a year, got it?" Sirius laughed. He introduced her and Fish-chan and the three of them happily talked all the way to the station. There, they were able to explain to the others where they were going only for a moment before they were dragged off towards the Floo Powder Circuit.

"Number Twelve Grimmauld Place!" Bellatrix yelled as everyone stepped into the fireplace. She threw down the Floo Powder and they all disappeared in a bright green inferno.

"Kids! You're all back!" Fish-chan heard an older woman screech. Sirius stealthy managed to avoid the mess outside the fireplace and led Fish-chan up towards the stairs, where they were stopped by a portly man with the same dark hair and eyes as Sirius.

"Hey, can't you say 'Hello' to your favorite uncle anymore?" the man said, putting Sirius into a headlock. Once he let go, he saw Fish-chan. "My word, you brought home a girl?"

"Yes," Sirius said, trying to catch his breath. "Uncle Alphard, this is my girlfriend Fish-chan."

"I say, what a peculiar name," he said inquisitively.

"Well, so is Alphard, in my opinion," Fish-chan said curtly. She was a bit upset.

"Ha-ha! I like this one! Good sense of humor! You always had a good taste in girls, dear nephew!" he bellowed. As he turned and followed the house-elf Kreacher and his tea tray of snack foods, Fish-chan pulled Sirius down and whispered.

"Where are we?!"

"My house. Every time we come home from school, my mother invites all the relatives over for a reunion. I hate this time. Mostly I am up in my room or talking with Andi"

"That's sad," Fish-chan said. "I can at least have fun with my family."

"You don't know the worst of it," Sirius sighed.

"Time for dinner!" a skinny old wretch screeched over the roar of the many people and paintings talking. Everyone filed down the staircase and Sirius almost got away, when the old woman put her hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

"Come to dinner at least!" she squawked.

"But Aunt Elladora..."

"No buts! I want you and your little girlfriend in the dining hall, now," she said sternly. Sirius's shoulders sunk about six inches and followed halfhearted to a mammoth room. He and Fish-chan sat between Andromeda and Uncle Alphard and barely talked the whole meal. Afterwards, they rushed up the stairs to Sirius's room and shut the door and locked it.

"I hate them," he growled.

"I can tell why," Fish-chan said. "All through the meal, they asked me such... personal questions. If I'm Pure Blood, where I live, who my parents are, my views on Wizard politics and even the Pure Blood Movement! My best friend and siblings are half Muggle for crying out loud!"

"Ludicrous, I know."

A knock on the door interrupted them. Sirius unlocked the door and Andromeda walked in.

"You two are wanted in the Drawing Room," she said softly.

"By whom?" Sirius snapped.

"My sisters, Rodolphus, Regulus..."

"No. I'm not going."

"Fine, but expect the next figure to darken your doorway to be one of them." She walked out and closed the door behind her, Sirius locking it back up again.

"Why didn't you go?"

"Every year since Regulus started school, they have been trying to recruit me for their sick little club and every year, they get more and more desperate. Now they're using poor Andi. She's not even in their organization but she will run inconspicuous errands for them because she's so nice and sweet."

"Then why don't you tell her what they're doing?"

"She knows," Sirius replied. "She knows what's going on. It's that, or they are controlling her."

Once again, there was a knock on the door.

"Sirius, open up!" Regulus yelled from the other side of the door. "Come out with her and your precious Andi will be safe."

"You wouldn't!" Sirius yelled, slamming the door open.

There was Regulus, along with Bellatrix, Narcissa, Rodolphus and Andromeda. Sirius took his beloved cousin from them and locked up the door. They stayed in there the rest of the time, until Andromeda had to leave. Then they only came out at night for food and toilet usage and when the week was over, they scurried over to James's house, along with all of Sirius's things.

"Umm... hello Mrs. Potter?" Sirius said nervously as James's mom answered the door.

"Run away and want to stay here?" she answered. Sirius shook his head and Mrs. Potter directed him to his room, which she made up expecting him. Sirius and Fish-chan then joined James, Remus, Nehszriah and Lily in James's room for a game of cards.


	26. Part TwentySix: Cavemen, Demons and Muff...

Nez: This is going to be a really awkward and mildly confusing time filler... and I don't own X-2.

Zan: We start school soon. –sad-

Nez: Cheer up bro! You're on the Paper Staff!

Zan: ...but the teacher's crazy.

Nez: Just a bit tipsy, you'll be fine.

Zan: Really?

Nez: No.

Part Twenty-Six: Cavemen, A Demon and Some Muffins

"So what are we going to do?" Sirius asked as he and Fish-chan sat down next to each other, between Nehszriah and James.

"I thought we were playing cards," Remus said, shuffling the deck.

"Well, we were, until the Lovebirds showed up," Lily said.

"Yeah, now euchre is out of the question," James sighed.

"Well, I know what we could play..." Nehszriah laughed as she fumbled through her gigantic green backpack. Soon enough, she pulled out an old bottle of Japanese soda, one that she had broken the plastic of the top and taken the glass marble out, leaving an empty bottle. She placed it in the middle of their small circle and spun it.

"Whoa, we are not playing Spin the Bottle," Remus yelped, jumping up and hiding on top of James's bed.

"Afraid you won't get your girl?" Sirius chuckled.

"Besides, it's Truth or Dare, so calm down," Nehszriah said as the bottle stopped at James. "Prongs, you spin and pick."

"Fine," James groaned. He spinned the glass bottle with it landing on Remus. "What is the farthest you've gone with Nehszriah?"

"What do you mean?" Remus nervously asked.

"You know what I mean..."

"We kissed... once."

"You're kidding?" Fish-chan laughed. "All that time you two had to yourselves and you never even really kissed?"

Nehszriah was nearly about to kill James.

"And why is all of this necessary to know?"

James shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno."

Remus quickly spun the bottle, having it land on Sirius.

"I dare you," Remus started, making Fish-chan and Sirius stand up. "To stay with Fish-chan, in James's closet, -grabs wands- -shove- -door locks- for one whole hour."

Everyone stared as Remus magically locked the door.

"Whoa, I didn't even know you had that in you," James snickered.

"Who's up for a movie?" Nehszriah said, rummaging through Fish-chan's backpack. "Ah-ha! I knew she had it!" She pulled out of the pack, her X-2 DVD.

"But how are we going to watch a movie from the future without anything to play it on?" Lily asked cynically. Nehszriah just materialized a DVD player in Lily's hands.

"Now let's see, if you have a VCR port, then you can play this."

"Umm... Nehszriah?"

"Yes Remus?"

"What's a VCR?"

"I am dealing with friggin' cavemen..."

-in the closet-

"So, this is... well... nice?" Sirius said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not happy," Fish-chan replied curtly. "She took the damn DVD..."

"What's a DVD?"

"I'm dealing with a friggin' caveman..."

-Potter living room-

Once Nehszriah had created a T.V., and power source, James, Lily and Remus were having a fairly good time watching the movie from the future. Nehszriah, however, had to explain some trivial part of the movie every two seconds, from Cerebro down to admantium and that actor playing the president, isn't really the president.

"Who's that?" Lily asked.

"That's Deathstryke."

"Who's Deathstryke?"

"That girl there, the one fighting Wolverine."

"I thought that was Logan..."

"It's the same damn person."

"No it isn't."

"James, Hugh Jackman looks the same, whether he is Logan or Wolverine, so can it."

"Hugh Jackman?"

"Future actor, who is like, your age."

"Confused..."

"Well, if you want to stop being so confused, go away stupid red-head baka miko."

"Huh?"

"She means 'Go Away', Dear."

"Thanks James."

Just then, the four teens heard a shlop-shlop-ing sound coming down the stairs. There, at the bottom, was Sirius, soaked to the bone.

"What happened to you?" Lily asked.

"Nehszriah," Sirius growled. "What time is it?"

"Twenty to three... uh-oh."

"What?" Remus said.

"Fish-chan?" Nehszriah yelled up the stairs. "Are you alright?!?!"

"Yeah, no thanks to you!" Fish-chan yelled down the stairs. She ran down and tackled Nehszriah, putting her in a headlock. Fish-chan was now, however, a fish-demon. Her ears looked like fins, green-blue triangle markings above her left eye, under her right and quite the squiggly-looking marking on her forehead. Both Remus and Sirius had to pry the furious Fish-chan from Nehszriah. Once Nehszriah could breathe, they all heard Mrs. Potter at the door.

"Oh, you must be one of James's friends!" she said cheerily. Everyone froze. "Right this way."

"She can't," James muttered.

Sure enough, the four members of the Muffin Mafia poured into the den. They didn't really notice Fish-chan or the nearly-dead Nehszriah, but either attached themselves to Sirius (Tsuki) or the X-2 DVD (everyone else).

Nez: Finally! Done!

Zan: Yes, now Fish-chan can get off your back.

Nez: Well, she is already, considering she's camping.

Zan: The one time she isn't bugging you, you actually do what she wanted?!

Nez: Yeah, just to peeve her off.

Zan: Are you sure you weren't adopted?

Nez: Why little bro? –smiles- -huggle-

Zan: -screams-

Review Reply!

Fish- Now... stop bugging me. Twenty-Seven is on it's way... sort of.

Fufu- What was with the ranting? I don't really get it.

This was done at 19:16 (7:16 PM) on Saturday, but it isn't Saturday. I finished a Pokémon One-Shot and put it up earlier, hence the really big delay for this chapter. I've also got the idea for a different One-Shot, but I will try to not to let that get in the way of this story. I also hit a creative streak for my original time-travel story and that is interesting. School starts soon and I gots horrible classes. Good part is, I'm listing to a song right now that involves hockey and a monkey!!! –sings off-key- And it's ONE, TWO THREE, the kids love the monkey and, FOUR FIVE, SIX, the monkey's got a hockey stick... -stops singing- Umm... later, I guess.


	27. Part TwentySeven: Muffins Are Tasty Good

Nez: I am really exaggerating the Tsuki's emotions towards her alter in this chapter.

Zan: You mean you haven't been already?

Nez: Well, yeah, but this time, its worse.

Zan: Fine. Whatever. -jams to .hack soundtrack music-

Nez: -sighs- Oh, and this is going to have a surprise at the end.

Zan: Really? Tell me!

Nez: Then it wouldn't be a surprise, baka."

Zan: No fair.

Part Twenty-Seven: Muffins Are Tasty-Good

"Go away," Sirius growled at Tsuki, who was staring at him longingly. She didn't notice that her friends had changed movies to "Pirates of the Caribbean", which would have meant she would be drooling over three guys at the same time. (Johnny, Orli and Sirius.)

"C'mon Tsuki-sama!" Nehszriah called from in front of the television, drool covering her front. "It's Will and Jack!"

"How'd you get 'Will and Grace' on the TV?" Fish-chan called from the other room. She was getting some dry clothes, for hers were sopping wet from blasting open James's closet door with her fishlike demonic powers that involved water.

"No, you ninny! SPARROW AND TURNER!!!!" Fufu yelled at the creature in the next room.

"Will?" Nehszriah coughed, still trying to regain the ability to breathe. "Where? Orrrrli!!!" She stumbled to get up and then fell over backwards.

"Don't mind her," Tsuki said blankly as Sirius stared at the collapsed demon Nehszriah. "She'll be just fine."

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked. Nehszriah had started twitching precariously on the floor and it even had caught the attention of Remus, whose eyes would otherwise be glued to Kiera Knightley on the television.

"Okay... that's not right," he said.

"GAH!!! I just remembered why we're here!!! Akina yelped. "Fish-chan, Nehszriah, pack your things."

"What?" Fish-chan said, coming in with a fresh set of clothes on. "Why are we going?"

"Yeah, why are they going?" Chels asked, staring down the television set.

"The time stream... remember...?" Akina said. Everyone just looked at her as if she was nuts.

"Oh, that? We gotta go back now?" Nehszriah sighed as she got up.

"Yes, go now," Akina sighed. She shook her head and went upstairs to go start gathering personal belongings.

"Why are we going?" Fish-chan asked, clinging to her Sirius. "Why?"

"The time stream is too unstable now that you two have stayed here this long, as well as the rest of the Muffins and I," Akina explained.

"How'd you know that?" the confuzzled Tsuki inquired.

"Were you not paying attention to Dumbledore's letter?" Fufu said, not even peeling her eyes from the TV.

"Yes... Maybe... No..." Tsuki sighed.

"We have to leave now, goodbye," Nehszriah said casually as she was tossed her backpack by Akina. "Come Fish-chan."

"What? When are you guys coming back?" Remus asked, putting on his best puppy-dog face.

"Never," Nehszriah said with the utmost seriousness.

"Why?"

"Because, my dear, our future is being threatened with the Muffins' Fish-chan's and my prolonged presence here, we have to leave," Nehszriah said, her face locked in a stone-cold tone. She got rid of the futuristic entertainment system and Dissapparated into thin air. One by one, the Muffins too said farewell and left until there was only Fish-chan left.

"Don't leave," Sirius pleaded. "Not now... no..."

"I have to," she said through teary eyes. She then Dissapperated...

-Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place-

"... and that's the last we saw of any of them," Remus said. He had been boring Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione for the past three hours with his reminiscing of the past.

"How is that relevant to anything we need to worry about?" Ron asked with a yawn.

"Sirius is dead, so are my parents," Harry snarled, elbowing Ron. "We need to know a bit more about them so they can be remembered better."

"So... would that make them, our age then?" Hermione asked.

"Yes Hermione. Nehszriah is the same age as you and the boys. Fish-chan's a little older though," Remus sighed.

"That's sad," Ginny muttered.

"How pathetic Remus was as a kid?" Ron chortled. Harry's elbow once again connected with his ribcage.

"No, that they never saw each other afterwards," Ginny sighed.

-DING DONG-

"Damn, what in the hell is that?" Remus growled. He, with the kids following, went to the front door and opened it.

"Hello."

"AAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Remus yelled. He ran up the stairs with Mrs. Black's portrait yelling at him the whole way.

"What was that about?" the gang heard someone say. Then, a girl in black with brown pigtails followed by a petite girl in jeans and a sweatshirt walked into the foyer.

"Ah crap," everyone seemed to say in unison.

Zan: WHAT?!?!?!?!?! That was the surprise?!?!?!? It ended?!

Nez: Yes, and very spiffily too, don't you think?

Zan: NO!!!!

Nez: Dude, it was lacking plot, a pain in the rear to keep up and random people yelled at me to update, so I killed it.

Zan: No duh you killed it!

Nez: -to audience- Now, review please. I might have a sequel chapter, if I ever feel like doing one and.... –drumroll- the Thank You's!!

O.o.O.o.O

Zanbato: For being my perverted younger brother and muse. You were a big help in the beginning, but a pain in the end.

Angelfish720: Yes, ha! I killed it before reaching Chapter 30. You were a big help with brainstorming and ideas and really helped me out when Zan went away to his "vacation".

Fufulupin: For being there to sigh and worry over my sanity, thanks.

Akina kumi-tami: That mass of reviews shocked me, but they were still loved.

Tsukinooni: Did you ever review? I don't know, I'm offline, but thanks anyways.

Mary33: You reviewed once, but you still were my first reviewer I didn't know personally. Thanks a lot.

Zhou Cheng: My spiffy Holden... thanks for putting up with this thing blabbing out of Angelfish720's mouth.

...aaaaand thanks to everyone else who I didn't mention due to my short-term memory.

Okay! I shall go now. It hurts to kill my most popular ficlet, but it must be done. I have other stories and fics that are nearly beating my skull in for attention, as well as school. I also, have a hard time spelling "serious" without typing in "Sirius" first. This was a very hard last few chapters to write, therefore, I decided to stop the mindless rambling right now. Sayonara and see you on other fics!


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